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Hurts like hell.
I loved and I loved and I lost you,
And it hurts like hell.
You.
Yeah you, who ever is reading this, you can probably remember that song, right?
Or maybe its just me.
It hurts like hell.
I know why I remember, its because my heart has been so broken for so long with greif that is so heavy that I've been drowning in it for years.
Death is natural.
People die.
I know that.
But fuck it hurts like hell.
Dad, I loved and I loved and I lost you.
I loved and I loved and you left me.
And it hurts like hell.
Its been 8 fucking years.
I was a child then, and now I'm an adult. I have a job, I finshed school, I found out I was pretty fucking smart and I can endure more than I thought I could,
But still.
I loved and I loved and I lost you.
I wrote poems and songs, I painted death in so many ways, I tried to draw every broken piece of my mind trying to heal, but its not working.
I lost you.
I'm so full of sorrow at this point that everything feels hard.
Every tiny thing has had a weight for so so long, you have no idea how much you hurt me.
I want to keep loving you, but I hate what you've done.
I can't fight hard enough to separate these emotions.
I loved and I loved and I hate you.
I hate you, I lost you, I loved you.
I fight you, I love you, you lost me.
And it hurts like hell.
It hurts like fucking hell.
You have no idea what you've done.
The monster you have created.
I am the living embodiment of a broken heart, and I fucking know I am.
I cry almost every day.
Life is too much for me sometimes so I hide, and I refuse to come out.
I'm hurting so hard inside that I am writing things here, my chest physically hurts as I type.
You feel like pain.
Like nails in my fucking veins.
Your influence is disastrous,
It kills me everytime I try to move past it.
I see psychologists and social workers but it never goes away.
I learn how to breath and how to relax but the pain comes from your name.
All it takes is one damn song,
Or to take a word one wrong way,
And then I'm down.
I flicker out.
You have drowned my flame.
I suffocate in my silence,
I drown myself in your wake,
For you to leave me here by myself,
I must have been your last mistake.
I loved, and I loved and I hate you.
I loved, and I loved and I miss you.
I loved, and I loved and I lost you.
And you hurt like hell.
You make me hurt like hell.
My heart hurts like hell.
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i'm so sorry for you.
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