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First of all my apologies. Apologies for all those stupid things I have been doing. Sorry I forgot your existence from my life for a moment. You could say it is his presence that made me forget you. Maybe it's true. But the moment has come to reach an understanding between us. You Know me better than anyone, even than my mom, dad.
We used to talk alot, all the nights, in bathrooms, in front of mirror, during sunsets and the very rare and special times we spend on the seashores.
Our friendship started at the age of 12 or 13. I can't remember or say it clearly. But when we met we knew that our connection is not going to end. There were my other best friends too. But I don't know you were really special. You were like my god. Everything.
We had many fights, but during those fights too we were loving each other.
Others mistook us as lovers as we cleared them as just friends. But inside me, some one was telling me you can't live without him. I had wish that someone might say the same to him.
As the time passed I got busy with my studies. But whenever I wanted felt like talking to you I did. You solved my problems. You hugged my problems too. You made me smile all day. You scolded me for the mistakes I did. You made me calm when I got mood swings. You changed my perception of the world.
I can't even go back and find that when did exactly I started stop talking to you on what reason. In fact I didn't even realize that you were going far away from me. No no. I was sending you far away from me, but not intentionally.
Now, I just wanna say that I need you. I can't live without you. I need you to take care of me. I need you to help me choose the ways for me. Because I am not able to do it myself. And he is not helping me in those ways. Maybe be he will. But I won't ask. I know that he loves me more than anything. He will always. But he has his own things to taken care of. So I don't want him to put his head on my issues.
But this does not mean when he comes back I will forget you. Not this time. Because now I know more about me, my likes, my needs, my Don't s.
I know I am writing a lot and no one is ever gonna read this. But I hope this writing helps me someway. I Know I am at a stage where I have to focus more on my career. I will be doing that. But I just want somebody to stand with me. Somebody. And I think only you can fill that somebody. So please come back. Stay with me forever ❤️.
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