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I expect...to be annoyed...be wound up by someone? I expect to fail, and
die alone. I expect my life to be hard, isolated, in poverty. I expect others to reject me. I want others to reject me.
Then I have a reason to drift , alone , to not be seen, and in not being seen I can be free. I can just observe, and drift peacefully. Free of ties, invisible...and observer , not a partaker. Lonely and isolated. But beautifully free and untethered.
Free to dwell, in the comfort of self hate, regret and time travelling to brief memories of love
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