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I thought things were getting better. The past 3 months I've been happier and thought just maybe that I finally got out of my own head and could be happy and not depressed all the time.
I went for a job interview today for something that could drastically improve my situation and my life. I completely bombed it. I was so upset. I tried so hard not to cry walking out of there. Their responses to me just keep replying in my head and I just cringe at the thought of it. I cried all the way home and just realized how hard it's been. It made me realize that I'm not good at anything and i have no idea what to do with my life. I'm tired of working my barely over minimum wage job and constantly treated like garbage. I feel like a complete disappointment. I spent all day in bed crying and sleeping on and off. What's so wrong with me? I literally have nothing or no one. I have no friends my family doesn't give a shit about me. The only think i have is my boyfriend that I don't think loves me. One of the times i woke up today he was laying next to me and immediately shut off his phone when I moved then pretend to be sleeping. I wanted to see if he would unlock his phone in front of me if i sent him a message but nope. After that he was acting weird. So another awesome part of my day. I realize my life is falling apart and have just been wondering all day why am I alive? I'm a waste of air and other people with an amazing life ahead of them are dying.
Sorry for the rant. Thank you for reading...
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Darling friend, don't ever think that you are alone! Although I can't hold your hand there, can't make you some tea but believe me, listening to you just breaks my heart. You are amazing that way you are I am sure of that. An interview is not end of life. Just do not give up. There are many chances ahead. Just don't sleep and cry. You need to work on the areas where you lack. Slowly and steadily. Don't think, however awesome you are, to get results in one day. Steadily and slowly. Make a schedule. Shut out toxic people. Hold hand of a good friend or family. If none, hold yourself up. Eat healthy. You need to be in good health before anything. And please my darling, don't be sad.
ReplyYou really need to be confident when attending a job interview. Ask as many questions as you can about the job and place of work as you can, then the person/people who are interviewing you will think you are very interested in getting the job.
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