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I feel sick whenever I cut myself, because the thought of tearing through my own flesh is just disgusting. It makes me want to vomit. But still, I can't stop. I'm addicted to it maybe. It makes me feel a sudden relief. I'm not sure why.
I'm slipping into really unhealthy coping mechanisms. I drink too much, snort crack and sleep with randomers just to..... distract?? I don't actually know. I push away the people and things I actually love because love scares me more than anything else. I feel ill. Numb and ill. And it won't go away.
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please take care of yourself <3
ReplyO dear! I don't know what took you into such a grief and you are in such a situation. But as you might yourself be aware, it ain't a right way to go forward. Things can still change, but you need to hold hand of a person whom you can trust or preferably with more bookish knowledge (may be a therapist or psychologist). Things can change with small steps everyday with conscious effort and good company. I have had my heart broken, I started drinking but then I stopped after wasting a year. It just spoils time. We feel that things are all right or maybe this is the only way we have been dealing with the things and there might be other ways that you are missing. Please ask for help. Don't do this to yourself. You are a part of god and you are divine. You can get through this but you need to start taking the right steps. You know it but it's just we feel reluctant. It is common to feel but you need to keep moving forward and ask for help.
ReplyStop letting yourself in that kind of situations, there will always a way to move forward! Look around u, look inside yourself there are so many things about u that u havent realize! Do something for yourself. If u dont have someone to hold on to, hold on your own self. If u dont have any reason to live then live for yourself! Live for please your own self to the next level. And when we have nobody the only one who can hold on is god. Keep ur faith in god! Believe He have all of ur questions.
ReplyHi there! :D
Your text is really inpiring, so much so that it made me write a song... I hope that it makes your day at least a little easier. You are not alone in your fight.
Best wishes.
Here it is : https://youtu.be/sVFms94SkYQ
Reply