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Hey Mom,
Just wanted to take this time to say and pardon my language fuck you. Fuck you for making me think I wasn't good enough. Fuck you for making me think I was a bad child when you were the bad mom, fuck you for running away when times got hard. Fuck you. Of course I probably shouldn't say this considering you're dead but I'm tired of keeping in everything as respect to the dead. You had no respect for no one. No respect for your husband, your children, your mother, your step father (who is in fact the sweetest man alive) your brother, least of all yourself. Fuck you for leaving me. Fuck you. I hate you. But of course I don't mean that right cause you're my mom. But whatever I'm so angry at you and I'm tired of keeping it in. What you did wasn't okay, and now I've said my piece. I'm sorry mom.
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There is no judgement, your piece is quite frankly honest. Her passing does not change the person she was. I sense your pain in your words. My advice, is the best thing you can do for yourself is forgive her. Find it in the depths of you to forgive her, or this anger and resentment you hold will haunt you. Take this as an example of who you don't want to be, the path you don't wish to follow. Forgive her, and be a better mother, be a better partner, child and sibling.
Don't feel guilty for your words, and for how you feel. Her passing doesn't disregard who she was. Move through your anger, move through your resentment and for your own sake, forgive her. x
ReplyI can feel the pain in your post. Dont keep anymore pain inside you, forget it (though its hard i know) Move on. Life is filled with surprises and so many wonderful things. If you want someone to talk to, we are here.
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