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My boyfriend and I were getting intimate a couple of days ago, and he was being playfully assertive, but it reminded me of how emotionally and sexually abusive my ex was. I ended up having a panic attack and I remember just feeling so bad for my boyfriend because its been over a year since I had last had an encounter with him and I should really be over it all.
I had gone to counselling for a while and thought I was healed, but I guess not. I guess I'm slightly angry and disappointed with myself. I am much better from over a year ago, but I'm ready to be done with the trauma.
When I was really suffering from the trauma, my ex made me feel crazy and broken. I feel like if my ex could have just admitted that he was manipulative and cruel, I'd have that final fulfillment that I need, but I know no one wants to admit they really hurt someone.
I just needed to rant a little bit because it's therapeutic. Thank you for listening to me.
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Anytime.
ReplyThank you for sharing
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