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Dear Dominik,
You are many firsts and ours was a complicated relationship. I wish i know how to stop reaching out to you. A restraining order? Hopefully not. But I knew you love me and I you. I loved you back, never looked back and enjoyed every moment of it. I learned to love every bit of you. Your acrid humor, nasty complaints, I even found your snoring cute. But I didn't listen. I didn't read the signs. I knew you were falling off me. We could've talked about it but we never did. You decided to end it and I brazenly said ok.
It was not okay. If i can take it back I will. Regrets. Gotta live with them. But i miss you all the time. It's not fair to trap you in a loveless futureless relationship but i really really missed being with you. Your words were vile but honest. You are mean, moody but your smile warms my heart like i did something right.
I'm sorry I can't offer you a future. I just can't commit something I'm not sure I'll have but I gave you all that's now. I'm sorry it was not enough, i am not enough, but i really wished I am.
These are tough times now. I wanted to be there for you but you dont want me. I'd like to think you hate me but you probably just don't care. I don't know what I want and you don't have to babysit my feelings. I'm just having a terribly difficult time of moving on from you.
I wish i can turn it off. But as hard it was for me to trust you, it was even harder to let you go. Maybe I'm assaulting you emotionally by contacting you. I really dont know how to stop the way I do. You don't have to reply. This does not even merit your attention i just need this for me.
I tried you know. I've deleted all your contact information. Too bad your email was public. Just send it to trash, delete it. I dont want to hurt you further.
I wished you well too much already. This time I'll hope i can let you go. So you can have your peace.
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