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I have a friend who lives in an abusive house and her parents are split so she either has her dad who has verbally and physically abused her and her sister or she has her mother who lives off of their fathers money has no job and doesn’t act like a parent and condones drugs and alcohol. My friend has been dealing with this and eating disorder as well as going out drinking every week getting black out drunk and has sent nudes to guys. She’s also been pressured into situations at party’s and most of the people she hangs out with now use her for her body and take drugs or alcohol. How can I help her? Me and my friends have tried talking to her about it and we even brought it up with the school but nothings worked so far. I just want her to be ok but it’s hard to help. Please does anyone have any ideas to help?
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What do you say when you talk to her? How does she react to your help? I think she needs to feel loved that's why she seeks validation through sex and taking drugs and alcohol. What I'd do is find something she's into, like maybe painting or dancing or whatever she likes and start from there? I hope everything turns out okay.
ReplySituations like these really require the victim to be disciplined and hopeful. Her personality type has led her to take the easy way out of the situation through drinking and sex to hide the reality of her life. You also take the time to mention that you talk to her at school which leads me to believe that she's a minor therefore she can't simply just pick up and leave so I think that if you just try to help her set goals (long and short term) she might be able to see that what she is doing now will decide her future.
Using school as a way to get educated and to form friendships is vital in life and if she truely wants to escape this reality and live a life where she can be financially and mentally free to do as she pleases, then i truely believe that she should dedicate her life as a teenager to studying and helping herself escape or much rather become independent.
As her friend you should give her attention but also realise that humans feed of off attention and will do whatever to gain the acceptance of the people around them. This is not shallow or wrong. It's human nature. As she is clearly not getting this attention from her parents or anybody at home, she'll start to seek in someway. Be there for her and give her something new in life that won't remind her of the situation she is living in.
If she understands they concept of "your closest friends define who you are", she will learn that she needs to make smarter decisions in her life by being disciplined and knowing when something is good or bad for her.
Said with the uttermost respect, i am not judging you or your friend. This is life and there is nothing we can do about it. Change what you can and pray that everything else is will work out. Religion is a good was to revolutionise and change your life for the greater good. Christianity has personality changed my life for the better and i do truely believe that God is the way to defeat and over come all your troubles through glory. once you Accept yourself and recognising that things happen as God wills them, life gets way easier.
hope this helps you a little.
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