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Knowing something is wrong and people refuse to say what.
4 years ago · 2 · I am done, +2 · Explicit
272
I have noticed that people are deliberately acting like they have something to hide and cover up. Those who may know what's going on seem to act afraid to say something about it. I have been questioning, doubting and asking people to tell me the truth. It seems like not a single person is willing to be honest about it.
I just want a valid explanation as to what the hell is going on around and why those around me are acting off with me. I know that I haven't done anything wrong at all and I'm not delusional at all. Complete strangers were acting like I killed their family or something, when I don't even fucking know them!
What the heck is everyone's problem when it comes to me and my life!?
I'm sick and tired of dealing with dishonest people and those who refuse to tell me the truth. It has been making me paranoid and extremely trustful with my surroundings. Don't know who's playing these games and what's really going on but I had enough of it. I know somethings have been wrong for a long time with how people have treated me when I haven't done anything towards them. I feel like these people who were doing shit to me have gotten away with it. All I had asked on Novni, friends and even family if they know something, that they would tell me the truth.
I just want to know why cetrain things were done towards me and reaosn behind it. I have felt for the longest time that I was going crazy and constantly doubting myself. They're people who were enabling my abuser, still are and instead of these people being smart enough to come talk to me first, they choose to disregarded and listen to soemone else. This is what I truly believe because this is the only thing which would explain the strange behaviors I'd get from people out in public. People who acknowledged it or not have being trying to pin me as crazy by being manipulative, emotionally abusive and psychologically abusive towards me. Using tactics which didn't make sense as to why it's being done in the first place and I'm left in the dark feeling like I'm the problem, when visually I'm not.
The fact that these people have made me feel crazy too and don't care about what they're doing wrong bothers me. It's sad that when people clearly see that I'm being bullied, harassed or something which is truly being done towards me that is unjust, they don't give a fuck to help you out. Bystanders do fucking nothing to help and prevent the abuser ffrom continuing.
I have no doubt that people assumed I'm the perpetrator, the bad person and the problem when I'm just living my fucking life. I'm not bothering anybody and certainly not hurting anyone in the process of living my own damn life. Alot of what was done felt like it was done towards me was on purpose.
I do believe these people where the puppets of a potential someone with narcissistic personality disorder, that's been invading my privacy and bothering my fucking life for an extended amount of time.
I've come to the conclusions that ever since I fucking moved to this place, my neighbors have acted odd with me, people in school when I use to go and strangers in public too.
I have felt like my privacy has been violated, that I have been severely stalked, indirect and directly harassed in public as well as online. I believe that I have been targeted by a severely dranged and mentally ill person, either some sadistic narcissist. A good person won't have so much hate in their heart to be constantly attacking someone, who isn't doing anything towards the and trying to make it seem like there is. To be so driven by potentially revenge, holding a grudge on me or something hateful without even confronting me about the problem from the start doesn't make sense.
Why would anyone want to ruin someone's life so bad like that, if they're clearly didn't have a problem with themselves and not even feel remorseful about it?
I have had alot done towards me from what I could see were rumors going around. I do believe someone was doing a smear campaign against me and also assassinating my character. I wish I knew who's attacker and where they're bidding because I would deal with it right away if I only knew. All this sabotaging and manipulation, to cause me harm for what?
What have I don't to really deserve this when I know I haven't done anything!!! I would know if I did something terribly wrong and own up to it. I never needed outsiders playing games on me, especially when they know fuck all about me and my life to be making assumptions about me. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with people but they could of spoken to me, got to know me better and decide for themselves of the type of person that I am. I have nothing to hide but I also like and deserve to have privacy without people digging into my life for the wrong reasons. Instead, I got people alienating me without any reason and vaild explanations to why that was being done. I have no idea what other abuse that I have been exposed to but nobody cared enough to believe me, to listen to help and tell me the truth.
I don't appreciate and never will have respect for people who intentionally toy with other people's lives. I have been abused most of my life and I never seem to be able to find an end to it, with some people that I encounter. It's so unfair for anyone to be living and experiencing such isolation because nobody wants to listen to you. People just believe whatever they want without looking further into it and those doing the harm just get away with it untouched. People mobbing and ganging up on you, making you out to be something you never were in the first place but you're left confused, wondering why. Nobody cares enough to stick up for you and reassures you. Nobody stops to think and question the other party doing whatever it is that is harming you. Im exhausted trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with people and what their problem is with me. For a long time now i want to be left alone and no longer bothered by anyone.. I'm more than happy to cut everyone off because of it, which I have progressively stopped speaking to others and became a bit of a recluse, because I just can't tell from a foe and friend anymore. I have been living this way for about 4 years, trying to figure out what the heck was going on and why. My boyfriend at the time, now husband doesn't believe which hurts me alot, because you'd expect someone that loves you would believe you. My friends don't seem to know how to help me or don't believe me either when I mentioned something wasn't right. As for my immediate family, well it seems like they act like they're in on it and don't give a shit.
I'm done with being abused by people. People have made me feel very much alone for awhile and left in the dark. I've became really depressed and even now I struggle to get through whatever is happening to me. I have lost alot of faith in others in truly being genuinely honest and helpful but instead alienated. I'm not insane but self aware of myself and surroundings. People have sucked the life force out of me and I can't do this anymore. Nobody stood up for me when there have been really cruel and malicious actions being done towards me. Nobody bothered to come talk to me and let me be aware of the wrong doings being done behind my back.
People seem to enable abusers and not even question it. You're left completely helpless, isolated and stuck. I will never forget those who refused to be honest, to believe in me when I truly needed the help and support. I don't think I ever want to let people into my life again and trust them. I've been heavily abused, taken advantage of and taken for granted. I am looking forward to leave everything behind and never even bother to look back.
I want everyone who intentionally hurt me, doubled me, abused me, lied to me, to all leave me alone for the rest of my life. There is nothing that will ever repair the damage of what was done towards me. I have given chances and the benefit of the doubt to others. I really don't think people take me seriously and understand how much they fucked up on me. Nobody is perfect but this was really was the last straw for me. I'm perfectly okay with cutting people off for peace if mind and never be bothered again. I got use to being isolated, mistreated and having my boundaries respected.
I don't see why I never deserved to be treated like a human being, with respect and respective rights.
I was only dehumanized and nobody fucking gave a shit.
I'm done with all.
_-Jas
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I feel a great deal like you do. As soon as im able ill cut myself off from everyone else who knows me because theyre abusers liars users etc.
ReplyWish you the best of luck and all the best.
Bye.
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