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Our relationship is weird.
Okay, it's not even a relationship, but I don't know what else to call it.
You know I like you. You always have. I had thought I'd gotten over you after I wrote you that love letter and you started dating a girl, but turns out I haven't. We sit across from each other in almost every class, and we're constantly bickering. Often times it gets physical, and we're hitting and kicking each other, calling each other names and saying rude things. We're just that type of people, who can't go five minutes without saying some snarky comment to each other.
But lately, it seems different. When we meet eyes across the room we linger our gaze for a few seconds. When we fight I'm hyperaware of your kicks on my ass instead of my legs, your taunts more about my feminine features. "I'm thicc-er than you".
Sometimes we get so worked up that we don't realize how close we are. The teacher leaves, we immediately start fighting and chasing each other around the classroom like five-year-olds fighting over the last cookie. I say, "You won't hit me, I'm a girl" and you pull my wrist back so our faces are inches apart and say "wanna test that?"
In math, you sit behind me, and we're so close that when you yawn and stretch back your head hits a mine and I flick you or pull your hair.
I used to like Ian, and you constantly make fun of me for it. In history when the lights are off for a presentation you mouth "You and Ian" and make motions that I'm guessing are dick-sucking. What an idiot, right? I roll my eyes and hope I don't blush.
Somehow we get into an argument over whether everyone our age masturbates, and you say "don't be embarrassed, i know you do. I do" and i blush and hide my face with my hands.
Thanks for THAT image.
Point blank, you're an amazing enemy and the sexual tension is explosive, but you have a girlfriend and I'm hopelessly in love with you.
Tricky situation, huh?
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Hey I just read your post. I'm afraid I may not have any valuable advice to offer because I'm 28 and I've been ignored by females my entire life - so you and I are practically on different planets, but I wouldn't get too upset about his girlfriend. If you know the integrity of your relationship with him is superior to that of his girlfriend, then I would suggest you have faith that it's only a matter of time before he reaches the same conclusion. Lovers come and go. If you let jealousy create distance, it will only weaken the relationship. Just keep up the playful banter as if nothing has changed. Don't get discouraged.
ReplyThank you! That definitely eased my mind a little. He's sorta awkward with his girlfriend but that might be cuz he likes her a lot? Idk, but us being together just feels right. Maybe I'm being delusional, but other people have mentioned stuff about me and him too. Stuff like "wow you guys would be that couple that gets kicked out of the theatre for throwing popcorn at each other" or "Oh my god, just fuck already" lmao i hate my friends not really but u get it.
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