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Honestly, I deserve what is happening to me. Everything.
Years ago, I had this massive crush on this guy and he had a crush on me too. We would spend days and night together laughing and talking without ever getting bored. Then a few months later he ghosts me. He would come back from time to time throughout the years, just to say hi. I later found out that he kept leaving because he was scared of being in a relationship.
Fast forward to 2019, I havent talked to that guy for almost 2 years and I forgot about him. I was dating this other guy that I didnt love, I think I was mostly lonely. We were together for a year. In the end, I realised I didnt love him, but it was clear he loved me more. I didnt know what to do so I ghosted him, for 4 months. He sent me pleas by text but I didnt know what to do. I then finally broke up.
By the end of 2019, I wanted nothing to do with men. But then-- he came back. And like a giant wave, he swept me off my feet. That connection we had years ago, we still had it now. I felt more happiness talking to him within the first 10 min of him coming back then a whole year with my ex. So, like an idiot, I let my walls down. He promised me this time, hes here to stay and that he finally is ready with his feelings.
I'm such a fucking idiot.
We both are really busy people, our schedules are total oposits,but we still made it work. I was so happy. But then he got really busy. He would reply less often or with very long periods betwin replies. Then he would reply once a day. Then once every other day. Now its once every week. He promises it's because of work, but I cant help but feel hes going to leave again.
Maybe I'm just too clingy? Maybe I'm just too negative. As much as I would like to ask him, u cant have a conversation with just yourself. Maybe I'm just over reacting. Maybe hes gonna come back when hes less busy. Ones thing for sure, I deserve being ghosted.
Maybe I should stop living in the past. I should of never given him a 2nd chance.
I just wanna be single forever.
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You should have a serious talk with him and try to find out just what it is he is up to.
ReplyIt sounds like he already knows he is making you insecure in your relationship with him, right?
And his behavior hasn't changed?
Therefore.. we can only deduce.. he is satisfied with not giving you the support you need in the relationship, correct?
Now the questions are: are you satisfied with that outcome? i believe you choose the person you think you deserve when it comes to love. you think you deserve that? you are really sure?
people make mistakes all the time. we teach forgiveness, not revenge. you forgave him, and gave him another chance. why can't you forgive yourself in regards to ghosting someone too? it is not easy to disappoint someone you care about. you were avoiding it, and instead hurt them more.
learn from your mistakes, and do not give to others what you do not want to receive yourself. (that last one is hard and i am trying to do it, too.)
side note- your overall happiness should not depend solely on one person; and, your overall unhappiness should not rest solely on someone either. you have a good life, even if you don't someone to share it with someone at this moment or at any moment later. there is a big difference between placing a barrier to your heart and knowing what you need from a relationship. understanding the difference between the two is essential to having a future in a satisfying and loving relationship.
but then again, what do i know? my life is a mess right now. hahaha the struggle is real.
ReplyI can relate to this story. I had a crush on a basketball player who was really loyal and respectful. But he ghosted me. As I was reading this story, I could feel myself being in your shoes. I dated my boyfriend for a month before finding out he cheated on me with my two best friends. I was stupid enough to get back with him but it only lasted a week because he let a girl kiss him on the cheek. I recommend having a talk with him and know what's going on. Being in a relationship requires honesty, trustworthiness, and loyalty. Don't get too stressed about it. Some relationships involve being too busy with things. But if he replies only once a week, something is wrong. It's okay to give people second chances. Don't let that stress you out. :)
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