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My Unsent Letter
1 year ago · heart break,
You were my best friend, my sister even, we went together like Gin and Tonic, but what you did was unforgivable.
I now know who to trust with my dreams, I now know who to be cautious off and I now know that wolves can wear sheep clothing.
You knew my biggest dream was to someday become a mum, but you also knew that with my health conditions it might be difficult and so I worry every single day.
You never wanted kids yet, you said so yourself, you said you couldn't afford baccy so how could you afford nappys, your always in and out of jobs, that's not proper future for a family, you get bored in relationships and end up eyeing up someone else and ending your current relationship. You haven't got a single caring bone in your body and being a care proved that, you struggle with personal care, assisiting with feeds and all that, and that's basically the first few years of motherhood, I'm not saying your goin to be a bad mum, I'm just saying you only care about yourself, hopeful you will change. Your partner didn't want to have a baby yet, he was not ready, it was clear in his eyes, he wanted to take you travelling around the world, but yet he didn't put a hat on it, and you didn't use any other protection, you claim you weren't trying for months, but yet took no action to protect your self, how do you think that made me feel? You didn't want a child but you didn't use protection, and there's me who's currently got to use protection for health reasons.
Then you lied to me, you said I was the first to know out of the group, girl that made me feel special, but then I learnt I wasn't, and you told out friend first, then you made her lie to us for your sake. I wouldn't of minded not being first it's the fact you lied. Then you made me and our friend (who knew last) godparents, which started an argument with the friend who knew first, which is understandable since she's done so much for you like put a roof over your head when you got kicked out, she put up with loads of crap and that's how you thanked her.
You were only 8 weeks when you made the group chat of God parents, which in my opinion was too soon. I asked for you to ask me to be God mother when your baby had arrived, main due cause: it was too soon and I was still grieving the loss of my grandad, but yet you mad it all about you and didn't consider my feels, because it's always about you even when it's not meant to be.
You started an argument with me whilst I was half way across the world on my way back, I was tired and mood so I ended our conversation, and we haven't spoke since cause you made it clear it was up to me whether I wanted to be in YOUR baby's life not your and the baby daddy's, the baby's just yours according to you.
I hear stories from a mutual friend, that you had all baby items bought for you, that's not maturity, you need to step up and become a mum, you have been far from mature, people still can't believe it that of all people, you being a mum, you still bite and punch like a toddler. Well I finally had an epiphany, when my time comes to be a mum, I'll be a brilliant mum, and I would of accomplished everything I ever wanted, to insure my family has the best life, I'm half way there, got my dream man, house and dog, I start my dream job soon, I will last my driving test soon, and we are looking forward to our dream hoilday end of the year. That's alot more than what you have gained. So this is my unsent letter to you, I only wished I could of said it to your face, but we have blocked each other on all media's, which is best cause before the epiphany, you mad my blood boil, but now I pity you, cause in your words your couldn't afford baccy how you meant to afford nappys.
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