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I had friends when I was in kindergarten, but all good things come to an end. I started hanging out with this other girl so all of my friends left me. I thought I was fine, but then after school, they would kick me and punch me. Then a year later, with the bullying still happening, my mom's boyfriend would touch me and force me to hug him. These went on for three years, or I could say till fourth grade, but then my mom dumped him and got married to my step-dad and we moved houses and schools. Then I was in fifth grade, I thought everything was gonna be better because I was at an accelerated school but I got bullied at my new school too, but I told my mom I just didn't like the school so I moved schools to the normal public school the next year, so I was in the sixth grade now. At this time I had developed major trust issues but everything else was fine. I was scared to get close to anyone but I met this girl and we were really close but she left me for the more popular kids. I was alone and developed depression and anxiety. A couple of months later, I met this girl and she and I because fairly close but I kept my walls up because I knew she would leave me. A few weeks later, she would hang out with the popular kids but we were still friends. I was alone again and started to get bullied again. Now it is this year and I have major trust issues, major depression, and major anxiety and I have my two best friends and that's it. No one knows about my past, I'm still getting bullied, and I don't know what to do. I haven't cried in three or four years except for a few mental break downs and anxiety attacks. I put on a happy face at school, but sometimes it's just too hard to even try. I'm only in the seventh grade and I've done somethings to try and feel again that not even some adults have done. I have just given up. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I feel like I can't trust anyone but myself anymore and all the people in my life who might care either wouldn't believe me or would say I'm crazy and I need help. I wish I could just end it all but I'm too scared to die. I wish I could just disappear sometimes. I want to just end my pain. I just don't know what to do.
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do you have a school counselor ? tell your teacher how you feel and maybe she can help maybe therapies work.
ReplyI had a counselor and I was gonna go to the school counselor, but then the whole coronavirus thing happened and now I don't see either of them. Also, my school got canceled because of the coronavirus so I can't talk to the teacher I would normally talk to.
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