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So I'm feeling a certain type of way right now and felt like sharing/ranting because I have no one else to talk to so yeah..
I started my first year at uni last September and have been living in private university accommodation, with 6 other girls. (One being my cousin but that's not the point) I'm a total family girl, it's what Italians do, we stay with family and that's what I'm use to but living away from my family was actually quite refreshing. It was quite nice to not be caught up in all the drama and anger and tense aura it had been recently. Though I've realised that I can't function without people around. I can't cope with being alone in the flat for more than a day because it kills me inside to not be around other people. Honestly.
Now I'm with my family again with this whole quarantine thing happening and it's fine, yet I long for it to be over and to be in my 'own' place again, my own home because I had genuinely made that flat my place, my home away from my family home. My space.
Except I still feel utterly alone inside, when I was younger I use to say that there was a whole in my heart and there still is, I just dont tell people anymore. I feel lonely and melancholy all the time and I just wish I had someone to talk to about anything and everything. I wish I didnt have to crush on someone that will never like me back. I wish I had friends that I could message 24/7 about all the stuff I ponder about these days. I wish I didnt feel so lonely that my heart longed for such company that I dont have yet. I dont have a girlfriend and will most likely never have one at this rate because why would anyone love this stupid fool who's crumbling inside, but my painted smile is too good so no one bothers to ask if I'm actually okay. I'm not.
Anyways thanks for coming to my TED talk lols
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I feel similarly. I wish I could be your but unfortunately that won't work. Maybe try telling someone how you feel? Like you told us. I sincerely hope you feel better ❤❤❤
ReplyLol, as an Italian with a very loud family, I totally get it. Coronavirus is not jut affecting those that catch it. It's affecting every single life by taking out schools, jobs, and social interaction. It's made us all afraid, stressed, and frankly pretty bored. Right now you should take some time to think about what you really want to accomplish when all of this is over. If your life wasn't perfect before, what are you going to do to change that? Set some realistic goals for yourself and enjoy being home for a while! (It's only a little while, don't go too crazy!)
Wishing you the best,
TheDragon
Reply