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Hey Tristan. I felt the closest feeling I could recall of love with you for three years in HighSchool starting freshman year. The only thing stopping me was not having any experience ever before and still not having any now. I regret not saying anything. But here’s the thing. I was so much taller. And I didn’t care obviously. To me, you were the most attractive, funny, talented guy I’ve ever met. You treated me with kindness and had me feel comfortable around a guy. I was not the prettiest, nor skinny. But I felt, I made you smile a lot and want to be around me. Apparently, that’s what friends do anyways so it wasn’t anything special. I made friends smile, but I never felt the clench in my chest as when I did it for you. Then you dated a pretty, skinny, tiny girl. Who in the end was still two inches taller than you. When you left to talk to her, our friend group would make fun of it while I just stared in longing and jealousy. If they made fun of you with her, what comparisons would they make with me?? I would rather they not judge you or myself and continue to have a comforting relationship. Because if I were to date you... if we were to break up.. I don’t feel I could be the same. This is supposed to be a Goodbye to my first love. But I am sorry to admit I still look you up on social media and although I am not as attracted to you as I was before... you still make me have butterflies <3 thank you for the good times.
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