What are you looking for?
1 month ago · · Life struggles, · Explicit
Its been a long time since I decided to write what I feel, almost a year. I know I cant express my feelings in words or writing but lets give it a try... sometimes I dont know what I feel or like, there is no feelings at all. It’s empty, no emotions, no anger it is just empty. I am a cold hearted bitch. On the hand, last week was full of emotions and feelings. Its been along time since I cried or felt this anger In my chest. I dont know what is better to feel numb or to have mixed emotions.
Opening up to people is also what I want and fear to change. Should I trust people or should I keep all of my feelings to myself? Will I always be strong to handle everything alone? Ow I will regret of people disappoint me? I realized I need people around me to make feel safe and loved. I grew up thinking loneliness is better, no one will hurt you, then I realized being lonely hurts the most. Everyday, every second I fear the day I may bel all alone. I am not sure that I will be loved someday or if i will love someone back. Will I ever love someone ? Am I capable of loving anyone? How can I trust someone this much to break all the walls I am building all mu life for him? Will he be worth it ? So many questions that have no answers. I guess this is life, you just live with all your fears everyday hoping your destiny will be good.