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you deserve better.
i'm sorry i can't be there for you when you need it most. i don't know how to feel about anything in harder times- and i especially find it hard to decide what i feel about you. you're not selfish, and despite what others might say or think, i know you're a good person. that you're trying your best.
things will never be easy, i know you know that. but it doesn't mean things will always be hard.
there are people who will love you one day, even if you feel completely alone now.
i find you beautiful, and worthy, and worthwhile of being loved. those are important. one day, i know you'll find the capability in your heart to realize that. it just takes time. you only need yourself to be loved, above all.
i also hope you never give up. theres more than that.
some days i know you wake up, and it seems too easy to turn the steering wheel of the car just a bit too far, or a knife thats just at your fingertips. life is a luxury thats too easy to lose- dont make it any easier.
things change, time passes.
things will be okay.
you'll be okay.
-A letter to myself
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