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been living beneath the same roof, sharing the same food, feeling the same intense and damaging experience. that is one thing about getting older. to have the ability to understand everything better in the current flow of events.
some days are worse than others. there are days which really irritates this heart to the point of just leaving everything behind. the carving of the hole deep inside me leaves a pitch black s
car. full of nothingness. feel free to venture inside, as you are ambushed with such tremendous, unpleasant, emotional agony.
that scar, was situated there, with a purpose. that sole purpose alone portrayed the bitterness inside. a seed that was interjected with hatred. that seed will eventually grow and continue to fill and fill, leaving the host petrified with such excruciating remorse. a place where decisions dictated each other. a place for opinions to rise, only to fall. a place to feel the deluged of frustration.
what's weird about it is that the authorization was given in order to make you feel bad. so badly it feels like throwing up. the often rumination of being in an endless loop, drowning deeper and deeper into this vexed emotions. no, argue with me. the idea to be able to avenge for the loss is undeniably hard when it comes to that monster. makes one feel like standing at the apex point in a virtual world, looking down at the mountain of forgotten emotions, searching for the right direction but are unable to do so as your loyalty stand by your own principles.
it is unforgivable, how that monster is able to to trap me inside this coordinated hell of a mess. to single handedly severed and turning me into a shapeless piece of waste. what that monster earn is a pain and a gain. in vain. no matter my whereabouts, the hunger to indulge by the irksome ego in such irrational ways had always win against me. completely shutting out my senses.
all of my freedom, was stolen from me. the terror of being dominated by that monster.
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