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What is wrong with me...
You have asked yourself this more times than you can remember. After every failed relationship. If you can call them relationships. It is as if you have an expiration date for every single person you meet. Things were going great, as far as you could tell, and then suddenly they lost interest.
You will sit and analyse your every word and action. Trying to figure out what you did wrong. Eventually, you will try to brush it off and pretend the whole thing never happened.
Until a friend, relative or co worker, who you had enthusiastically filled in on every detail, asks “how are things going with..?”
It is this which will trigger the second round of the sinking feeling in your stomach. You will of course plaster on a fake smile and insist you lost interest and wasn’t “really into it anyways” or “too busy to fit someone else into your life right now”
Yet, in reality your heart will ache as your thoughts go into over drive. Thinking what if I am left behind? Will anyone ever love me? Am I going to be left to live this life alone? While my friends and family go off and experience life with their soul mates. It is then you will ask yourself again “what is wrong with me?”
The answer, as cliche as it sounds, is absolutely nothing. We all feel like this for parts of our life and for some of us we feel it for the entirety of our lives. But you need to realise searching for the imperfections within yourself to fix so you can be loved is not the answer.
In reality, you need to realise it these same imperfections which will be the reason why the right person head over heels in love with you. I know it feels like it will never happen and even if it doesn’t you need to remember. You can need to learn to love yourself before anyone or anything else. Since it is only you who can make you truly happy.
Always remember what is meant to be yours will be even if it is underneath mountains. But what is not meant for you will not be yours even if it was once between your lips.
So the question should not be “what is wrong with me” it should be “what can I do by myself to make myself truly happy?”
Be kind to yourself first and true happiness will follow my friend.
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I needed this. Thank you!!!
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