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I just got out of a toxic two years on-off toxic relationship. We broke up quite a lot because we didn't understand each other but our last break up was for a different reason. Ending that relationship is the best decision I have ever made for the sake of my mental health. That relationship emotionally drained me and the worst part is I lost myself in the middle of that relationship . Our relationship started 'perfectly' like most toxic relationships do but in a long run it is really damaging. I think I'm the only who's hurting because of the traumatizing experiences I had in our relationship. He isn't affected at all, he quickly jump in another relationship days after our break up. I ended the relationship for the last time after I found he cheated on me. I wasted 2 years on this guy for just him to ruin it. I don't love him anymore but I'm still sad for unknown reason. Anyways, can you give me advices or tips to move on? It will be appreciated.
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Hey! First of all, good going knowing what you need to do for YOURSELF
For me the relationships that emotionally drained me, made it hard to leave but as soon as I left there was no looking back.
He cheated on you, that's enough reason to leave. And he is devasted, that's the kind of people who jump from relationship to relationship, so don't you worry about him.
You feel sad because there is a change in your life right now, and trust me, you'll come out stronger than ever.
I've found diving into things that i never had time for because i was in a relationship helps, it's a revolutionary vibe. So DO IT.
Hope this helps, and don't forget you're not alone
ReplyThanks, Your advice helps a lot!
ReplyHoney, I’m in the same situation you currently are in, tied in a knot. Stuck with him for two years, and I’m still struggling because I still love him, but because you have been able to see how good the breakup for you two was, that’s one of the biggest steps in getting over him. I wish I could give you the best advice, but even I’m struggling with the same issue, all I can think to say is that loneliness, the sadness you feel, it will go away soon. You will be able to officially get over him, you know you don’t love him anymore, so when you figure out just what it is that will put your sadness aside, even if it’s just something small like a hobby. Pursue and do it as much as you can.
Replythanks for the advice and I hope you can apply the advice you given me in your life. We can get out of this situation I promise you that. I wish you all the best
ReplyProps to you for doing something so strong! Use what you learned from this relationship to help guide you on your next endeavors, and don’t lose sight of yourself. Just grow and love yourself! Talk to friends and family, open your eyes and ears too the many people who you may have not noticed are there for you. Grow with them, show them you love them too. Surround yourself with things that make you think lovely things. It’s ok to be mad at times and it’s ok to hate temporarily, but don’t let that consume you. Find closure in your own way, kiss it goodbye, and say hello to this grand new book you are going to write!
ReplyThis is so inspiring, thanks!
ReplyFind another guy.
ReplyI will eventually but not now. I need to focus on myself first and heal. Thanks!
ReplyI'd guess that a part of you still loves him, or more likely the him you thought/ hoped he was, and that's why you're still sad.
As for moving on, I'd say take away any of his things or pictures of you guys together and delete them, delete him from your life. If you haven't already.
Focus on the present and the future. Make some goals, both mental health and just life. I like to make a list of my blessings each day.
I think one of the most important things is to not put him on a pedestal. He's a person, a toxic person, and he does not deserve for you to look up to him. (It sounds like you're already doing a great job of not putting him on a pedestal.)
You have to admit the awful stuff before you can continue on.
Beyond that? Make new friends, meet new people. You don't have to have a relationship if you aren't ready, but I think new friends are always good. And maybe take up some new, good habits. That always helped me.
I hope that helped! And I think it's amazing that you can admit that it was toxic and leave. You've already done the hardest part.
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