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Dear Person Who Raped Me,
1 week ago · · Past trauma, · Explicit
I understand that something might of happened when you were young and you mind made you so angry you had to take the anger out on me. Sometimes i wonder if its my fault and not yours because i sat there quietly and pretended i was asleep. This whole accident has made me develop Depression, Anxiety, and trust issues. I dont know what hurts more the fact that you were close to me and i was only 7 years old, or the fact that i blame myself for it happening. Maybe it was my fault i should of screamed and fight back, maybe then you would of realized that you were hurting me. I tell people that i told my family you hurt me and you got locked up, but i never did. I just didnt want people to try to force me to turn you in. You did go to jail but it wasnt because of what you did to me its what you did to someone else. If i ever saw you again i would ask you if you remember me and why you did it. Why you felt the need to release yourself into me, a 7 year old kid. I let people think im ok and that my life is good but on the inside im hurting constantly. I have had sex since then and one time i had a flashback and flipped out on my partner. Oh yeah im into other guys and some people that know what you did to me ask " Are you gay because you were raped and you liked it? " Now i cant even come out to some people because i feel like they will blame you and im such a nice person that i dont want you to suffer or have your life ruined. I tell myself that your a horrible, mean, nasty , cruel person but your not. I honestly dont know how you did what you did but i want to leave you off with saying. I forgive you, it takes a strong hearted person to say this but i honestly forgive you.
- My older self