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My question-answer session:
1) What to do if you miss someone who has stopped talking to you?
Ans: For people like me. Let me first introduce my nature, the person I am. I am good at initiating casual conversations with strangers and any person who sees me for the first time has the impression that I am an outspoken, extroverted person. Boys often perceive me as a 'cool' girl and hence assume that I would be okay with casual relationships or friends with benefits. But I am socially reserved and have few friends. And I have always wanted to be in a serious relationship with a guy with whom I am compatible in every aspect. Ok! It's not just me. Over 50 per cent of people would want a meaningful and long term monogamous relationship. I rely on them for sharing my opinions. Ok, coming to the point if someone has stopped talking to you, suddenly, citing no reason; the steps, according to me, one should take is(if you are an emotionally sensitive person):
Our brains are wired to find out the solution to an unsolved problem or when it comes across a situation which it cannot figure out. Such as a person blocking us from his or her calls, messages, social media and when he or she stops talking to us, stops making efforts, minimises interaction from his or her side. I know it sucks.
Especially when people like me prefer to find the root cause of every problem for our mental peace.
The first thing we have to do is block that person as well from everything- social media, calls, texts, etc when we are in an agitated state of mind. See, I remember people's phone numbers. In fact, my family members call me a phone book and ask me for their own phone numbers! So you can imagine how difficult it was for me to forget my ex-boyfriend's phone number. Even though I blocked him, I couldn't forget his phone number so time and again I messaged him when I was upset or mad at him. This made things worse. For a second let us forget thinking from his side. He might have his own reasons for breaking up with us. Let us first look at ourselves. By messaging him, not only are we losing respect in his eyes but are also screwing up chances to make amends with him in future. In online sources, the only solution given is 'No-contact' rule and that is absolutely right. See, in the initial phase of being ghosted, I would recommend saying sorry to the person if we have done anything wrong and even ask him if we have done anything which hurt him.And if you dont get a response even after one day, block him. I don't know if men like being questioned but if I am not in a peaceful state how can people in and around us be. We tend to search for closure. The second alternative could be: In the first two-three days, we would search for closure. I would recommend one should do it but tactfully(only when one is in a calm state of mind). Bombarding the other person with messages would make him feel we are harassing him. So, one can message him for two days maximum and wait for a response. If we get a response, well and fine. Ask him politely to tell the truth. If he doesn't, block him.
See, the best tool for emotionally sensitive people to block the person who ghosted them, permanently. Because we only know how stupid and fucked up we feel from inside even though we have to show the whole world that everything's fine.
Now, the blocking part is done. After such cases, all I have felt is emptiness, emptiness and emptiness. I feel like my whole world has shattered into pieces. The only person I need to heal is myself. This is the phase when our mind and heart are in opposite directions. Our mind knows the situation but our heart doesn't admit it. Read articles on coping for breakups, Listen to sad songs or songs which remind you of him. But there is a time limit for everything. We can't do that the whole day. Meditation and chanting are the best for consoling our mind and heart. If possible, sharing with friends would help. But deep within we all know only we can solve our own problems. It's useless to whine and complain because people aren't really listening. The best-case scenario is they would just pretend to listen. Make a rough schedule for the whole day, exercise, go for a walk or a jog. And most importantly, please don't isolate yourself. Because this will only make things worse. Talk. Interact. Even though you don't feel like it. Please don't overeat. As I know this is one of the tendencies people develop. If you feel like eating, eat pistachios or raisins or dates. Also, please don't stalk your ex in social media. This is the problem most of us face with. Delete your account if possible. If you feel like it, then stay away from electronic gadgets as they would only tempt you to waste time on him. Read a book, preferably an entertaining book which you can relate to like sci-fi, romantic,etc. Books take us to a whole new world. I have heard from people like Mathew Hussey like during these times, do something which you really find meaningful. If that's not possible then find online platforms like novni to share your thoughts. As sharing helps reduce our stress by 50%. If we continue this for a few days, not only would we have inculcated self-discipline by following a lifestyle and engaging in constructive activities but also be able to deal with our stress and anxiety of not being able to talk to him. This would make us a better person.
Moreover, please remove the thought from your mind that you would get him back. If he understands the real you, your significance and worth; he would come back to you.If he is meant to be yours , he would come back no matter what. But if he doesn't he was never yours in the first place.I know this hurts but believe me there would be a day when you laugh at how stupid you acted.
See, from my experience I have learnt that being able to manage relationships takes time. As is said, before mastering something, one makes mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable.
Following these steps have helped me cope up to a great extent. Once fully recovered from past, I would, of course, be open to new relationships.
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