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I need a break. Just for one day I want to be a normal teenager and do normal teenage things. But my dad is sick, and I am constantly in fear. Some days I'm strong and everything seems normal, other days, it's hard to keep myself from crying. My friends try but nobody really gets it. Along with a sick parent comes the pressure of being strong for my younger siblings. Being perfect all the time so I'm not another thing my parents need to worry about. And the pain of living with a ticking time bomb.
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This is hard for you but don't you have another parent there to share the load with you? If so give yourself a break and be a normal teenager.
ReplyOh Dear, Precious....
I can't imagine all the suffering and pain you are going through...…….
It's extremely hard to be the "responsible & adult," and taking care of your sick parents.
And no one gets it because they haven't lived it. Like your friends definitely won't understand what your feeling and how difficult it is.... So it's hard to relate to anyone or talk about your feelings....
Ticking time bomb,... I get it... It's like how much can you handle??????? I experienced something similiar, and I exploded sometimes. I cried until my face turned blue one time because I couldn't handle the stress of taking care of someone sick and bunch of other shit that I was dealig with..... That shits hard, and no one gives you credit for all the hard work you do.... But dear precious one, you are doing well...
You seem like a very strong girl and you can pull through this... And you're right, somedays it's fine, and somedays, it's just shit. It sucks to feel shitty, but that's part of life...……………… (not my favorite part either) I mean it will pass......………… ugh, but honey, fuck it, cry, and let it out. It's okay to cry, and I always tell people when they tell me to stop crying- to f off, and that the strongest people are able to express emotions and be vulnerable because they're releasing the pain that's inside and not holding it in. cuz that shit will turn into resentment or something ugly.... so cry it out if you want to, get your self some ice cream, or food, exercise, whatever brings you comfort. I usually go with eating my favorite food, and a disney princess movies. Yeah. lol. Don't judge me. I'm praying for you Precious... Hang in there.
ReplyThank you - I don't even know what to say I reallly appreciate knowing somebody out there gets it and they believe I can do this. It's hard to push my feelings down all the time for the sake of others and you're right sometimes I do need to just get it out. Thank you,
ReplyYou are absolutely normal. It's okay to feel not okay. I scream sometimes at the top of my lungs ^^;; that kinda helps too, or sing.
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