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So you know I'm stupid. I have always been one.
Since when I was kid, like a girl around 14, I started doing the most dumb things of this planet.
Yeah talkin about "doing love". Well yes I did it..not fell in it. You see I was kid then. So it will be irony if I say I fell in it.
I continued that relationship for straight 5 years. I will tell you how. The first year was fascinating as it was expected. Being a kid, seeing those new things, hormones still not rushing yet spinning nice poems outta it. Yeah it was exciting.
The 2nd year was almost lost into oblivion when I started realising things were not meant to be like this. I started getting out of my fantasy world but it took me 2 long years to do...thus entering 4th year of the relationship. Thats when i started pushing him away. And he tried keeping me close with his abusive words. Telling me how annoying and disgusting I am. Irony isn't it?
Even when i was able to successfully get myself completely out of it, the other one wasn't ready to leave..yeah so took another 1 year to finally close it down.
Hence you see my stupidity right out there. Even when this is not so descriptive.
I thought single life was ssoo good that I would never be again falling into that 'trap'. But soon enough completing my sentence, I got into another one. I thought I'm not Falling but just chilling. Well you see ny 2nd stupidity now!
In the name of moving on, I actually did it again. My ex warned this guy, " she is too emotional". But who would listen! Both were already lost into illusion. I appeared cute then. My acts seemed childish. My words seemed adorable.
But This time, unlike previous time, hormones raging. Containing myself to just innocent thing was difficult. So again a new fantasy life began..
Went for 2 straight years and then we enter this time.
Finally I am now going to talk about my present.
Once cute and childish finally became annoying to him.
I am no longer a need now. Or a fantasy.
But may be a dreadful experience.
My words are no more adorable but pissing. He started finding logics in my words..not love. I appear too emotional now, not to be tolerated. Nah. I repeat not to be tolerated. And then I realised this time also it has ended.
May be I'm not for this thing. I'm too much to be taken by anyone but my parents. And why do I crave for someone else's love? Or care? Or importance? When my family gives me everything.
So I have decided now. I am not giving into it again. I'm over it. Happily.
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don't ever think you're too much for anybody. Anyone who didn't value your love didn't deserve it.
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