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tears arrive.
i know how to survive,
but they shock me.
tearing me down with no warning,
i look outside.
trying to feel something,
to understand.
maybe it's just that time of the month,
they say, I say.
maybe it's insecurity,
i say.
or maybe it's just that I feel unlovable, unattractive,
alone.
i am surrounded with love,
but alone.
my bed is safe,
but also not the answer.
yet I stay.
even when we know the answer
we choose another option because it feels right.
and we and up feeling so wrong.
and back to bed we go.
i know how to survive,
but they shock me.
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