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At first I thought it was a need for space. First 1 month. Then 2. 3,4,5,6,7,8. I’m on the 9th of not response, and it’s not space anymore. It’s a ravine. She disappeared as quickly as she entered my life, but what I can’t and don’t understand is why? I understand the inability to cope with many different issues but what I cannot understand is how someone leaves their friend in the dark for almost a year.
I call and leave voicemails, or send an encouraging text, but no one is listening. And I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if I did something? Because if I didn’t, this is a cruel way to treat someone. I just want to know why my friend is gone and why there was nothing I could do about it.
I can’t be expected to be in a friendship with a ghost forever. I just don’t understand what I did to deserve silence. Silence is almost worse than any other response I could’ve gotten. It means no one cares, no one is listening, and my thoughts mean nothing.
Mourning a ghost is worse than mourning the dead. With the dead, you know they can’t respond. You know and accept you won’t ever see them again. With a disappearing ghost, there is a tiny sliver of hope that makes me hopeful. Whoever said hope was a good thing obviously never experienced what it felt like to hope for something that might never come.
God I fucking hate silence.
I don’t know how much longer to wait? Do I accept her absence as a death? Do I mourn as I mourn the dead. Accept the fate of our friendship, even in the possibility that she is undertaking something and needs space.
I wish C would respond. I wish I had my friend back, because I could use one right now.
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Saying anything will just annoy her and seem like stalking. You have to accept that she moved on. She might have even changed her number ages ago.
It sucks, but other people are out there looking for new friends too. Try socializing with new people even if online. It may take going through dozens but eventually you'll click with one.
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