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Youre wrong about me, Im not silly or happy or eccentric, im not alive right now. Im not your happy little girl or your sassy daughter, I am not your lovable friend, or your joyful girlfriend. Youre wrong and im wrong because I love it. I love that Im the only one who knows how I feel. If no one else sees me now, the wont have to see me leave. Im wrong because I know youll hurt, and Im wrong because I still want to anyways. Im so good at lying about the biggest things. And yet I never win poker. I love you. I do and thats why it hurts so much. I had a paper diary but then I wrote things You wouldnt like and I had to burn it. your were on a walk as my words went to ashes. Im good at lying about the biggest things, because I can save you from this. I can.
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I know you want to protect your loved ones, but who will protect you? Who will save you? Because when you get hurt and you fall, their hearts will hurt. Protecting you is the best way to protect them. They'll grieve, they'll mourn, they'll feel the pain of losing a loved one. A pain that is a hundred times more worse than the pain you are "protecting" them from. You weren't born on this earth to be a shield, you have a purpose too. You aren't a sacrificial lamb, you aren't supposed to try to be one. You need to live, because you have a purpose that is more than protecting. If they love you, they'll accept you. They'll accept those words on paper that were burnt away. They'll accept this side of you. They're human too, they know no one can be happy all the time. But you sadness shouldn't be the price of their happiness. Don't be a knight, be a queen, and fucking own it.
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