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I have not had a proper relationship with my mother for over 10 years. I am aged 19 now. I should probably start with some background about my mother. My mother has been an alcoholic for over 10 years. The problem originated as my father had a gambling problem, my father no longer has this problem but my mother's dependency on alcohol has just gotten worse. Her alcoholism is coupled with anxiety and depression which does not help :(. She has also fallen out with most of her family members and has a non-existent relationship with my father but they are still together. Lockdown has made it clear to me that I do not want any sort of relationship with her unless she gets help for her problems, but she currently refuses to. Her mental state right now makes her believe that she is absolutely fine and is happy to spend every day drinking, sleeping and arguing.
My relationship really deteriorated when I was older and I think I could truly see how she behaved. My mother is physically and VERY emotionally abusive to me, my dad and my brother. I think that the emotional abuse I have received from her in the past 2 years specifically has affected me much more. Coupled with some other problems with friends etc. My mother now calls me various names on a daily basis. Certain days it is easier to handle what she says, but on others, I struggle to cope with what she is saying to me. I would say I am a mentally positive individual and I keep mentally fit with sport etc, however, I still struggle to accept what she is saying. Some of these comments include "fat", "slag", "bitch" taking the piss out of the food I am eating when she knows I have become more conscious of my weight.
As a result of how she has treated me, I have develop the strongest hatred for my mother. I have no desire for her to attend any events that happen in my life. I refuse to have a relationship with her unless she gets some support and even if she does choose to get help (which I feel is extremely unlikely), I am not sure I want to spend any time with her. I wanted to share this because it is very difficult right now in lockdown and I have found myself struggling. Thanks for taking the time to read
AH x
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i have the same struggle i hate the lockdown so much only to realize both my parents only want me to earn money to support them otherwise I am meaningless to them
ReplyWorld's hardest job is being a being a parent. When somebody fails as a parent it is mostly because theyve either had a rough childhood or they kno what kind of a pathetic state theyre are in. so they tend show it on the next human they see which the lockdown makes it easier. family is the easy target. youve put up with this for 10 whole years, its not fair to ask u to have patience but hope is all we got. keep going, deal with her even if you have to confront her. stick with positive and supportive friend. keep your mind off this. start loving yourself so you dont have to worry about what the world has to say.. there is light at the end of the tunnel..
ReplyI understand this feeling. I have a similar issue except my mother doesnt have a drinking problem. She currently is trying to be better which leads to her being bitter and rude. I am borderline anorexic where I wont eat unless told to and I eat small portions and i try to exercise a decent amount. But this was caused because my mom used to comment on how I was going to blow up because I used to eat a lot. I empathize with your situation and can say that eventually, you will go an live your own life. Thats the hope I keep in my own mind.
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