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I thought I had finally stopped self harming. I finally felt good. I was back on track. But now I've relapsed. I feel like I'm failing everyone. I'm failing my parents for not doing the best I can to get better. I'm failing at school. I'm failing my friends, because they keep telling they are there for me but I ignore their texts and distance myself from them. I'm failing myself. I feel like I don't deserve to be alive. I have all these things, I have parents that love me, I have an incredible girlfriend and amazing friends. I have a home and food every day. There are so many people that have a lot less than me and who are working hard and making a better life for themselves and I'm a pathetic teenager who can't even look at myself in the mirror. I'm taking my life for granted and one day everyone's going to realise I'm a lost cause and leave me and then I'll be alone until I inevitably die by suicide in my 30s. The only reason I won't do it now is because my friends and family would be so disappointed in me. I'm too much a coward to ask for help.
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Dear, i think you are overthinking. Don't be so hard on yourself. I feel like you have a really good heart. Someone who thinks about his parents and friends like this, will never disappoint them. Now a days it is difficult to find a teenager who realises the fact that there are so many people who have a lot less than him. So my little brother, remember that you are really special. Im sure that you will never be left alone. If i had a friend or brother like you in my life i would never take a chance to lose you, so will your friends too. Be true to your friends and be sincere in all your relationships, you will be circled by your loved ones. No need to think about suicide like things. Stay happy!!!! Just turn and look, happiness is all around you...
ReplyI use to also think I was a failure. Bad grades, low self confidence, anxiety ... only who said I had to conform to all these high standards and goals. So I said pffff... it. I started learning for myself, taking interest in myself, and doing the things, I wanted, not those I was told ... and then I started succeeding ...
ReplyIf you appreciate your life and all that you have you won't feel like this. Don't take anything for granted and don't think so badly of yourself. Write down every positive thing you can think of about yourself and your life and dwell on them.
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