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I'm used to being alone. I'm used to just sit on the computer and do things I like: researching, learning new things, listening to music, watching videos. I go out for walks. I play with my pets. I help my mom do stuff. I play the keyboard. I'm studying what I like. Sometimes I really feel like I can't complain about anything in my life. I know there's people going through rough times right now. But I seriously feel lonely. I feel there's no one that I can talk to. I don't want to hurt my mom with the thoughts I have, and on top of that I don't think she understands me fully, so I don't tell her anything. Plus she has better things to do. My best friend... Well, I try and tell him what's up, but he just makes it about him. He doesn't even try to comfort me like I do. Yeah, I'm not the most affectionate person in the world exactly, but I do try to seek out for solutions to his problems and I always remind him that it's okay to feel bad sometimes. I have other friends but I don't feel like bothering them. We don't even talk that much and I honestly don't feel comfortable sharing how I feel to them since I don't know how they'll react to it. It's like no one really understands me. I don't need others to feel pity for me, I don't need hugs... I just need someone to talk to me through problems and negative feelings like I do with myself. I know how I'd like to be comforted, I know what actually works for me but I don't seem to find it anywhere except my own self and music, and it's becoming very frustrating. I'm tired of talking to myself. It works, yes, but it feels lonely. It is rarely that I feel the need to tell someone what I'm feeling, and when I do it doesn't go as expected. Maybe I'm being too self-centered and expecting to people to just know what's up. But I swear I do tell people how I'd like things to be, and I get ignored. I can't really change what they do for me, since that's just how they are and I'm okay with that. But I do try to comfort them how I see it works for them. And I don't get the same in exchange. And I hate it sometimes.
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sometimes it can be hard when you find that there's no shoulder to lean on. i get it. you'll find you're always helping others and getting no guidance in return. it can be tough. but always try to pull through. don't try to put on a fake smile. saying how you feel whether it be anonymous or not can really help you learn how to open up, and you might find help along the way.
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