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Me and Husband have mutual shared trauma, and we've been together 11 years. Are you going to tell me I should break up with him because we formed a trauma bond? Honestly, if you're going to talk about these things that you don't understand because you never experienced it, you need to shut your mouth and listen, don't offer advice because you have no insight and it makes you look like a pretentious asshole, just fucking listen.
It really does make me mad seeing people post things they have no knowledge about it except maybe they took a psych course in college- it doesn't make you a fucking expert; stop trying to fish for likes to expand your ego, your marching into territory you know nothing about and I will tell you off. Don't offer advice with my marriage, don't offer advice with my life if I didn't ask for it, I'm dealing with it, I am healing the best way I know how and if that goes against what is the 'norm' than that's fine, it's my norm.
You want to be a champion and an ally for mental health and trauma, great, than instead of trying to insert your opinion make sure mine and every other survivor is being heard. Thank you for listening to my ted talk. I can't believe I have to write this stuff, it's mind blowing and depressing that we have resorted to telling trauma survivors the way they are healing is wrong.
Of course people can experience trauma without others knowing about it before anyone comes for me, but I will say this- those who have aren't going to tell you what isn't and is the best way to heal. Healing is a messy process with a lot of set backs and failures, it isn't a one size fits all type of thing, so yes I'm going to be skeptical of people posting these sort of how-to guides, because if you had any sort of foresight you wouldn't.
You can't be a teacher if you have not learned to be the student.
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