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I don’t want to write anything but this pain inside is eating me. It always feels like I’m not from this world, everybody just hurting me, Scolding me for whatever reason they feel like. What hits more is that it,s my family, I don’t feel like calling them family anymore. I mean why should I call them mummy and papa when they are scolding and bringing me sadness. I didn’t asked to be born, i didn’t say that I want to live with them. I never asked any of it. I just need happiness which I believe i cannot get here.
My father has his business, and he insist on me taking it but it’s not what I want. I don not understand, even I cannot do the job in his business because that field is different is mine his business and can never be part of it. And he scold me always for always not joining his business. What is most dangerous is whatever he says, mother repeats it until It get on my nerve or I do the job. And if something wrong happens, than again scold me. And if i say something in return, they hurt me more. They say it’s for me but it never looked like this.
I work as a software engineer in a company and it’s not a good pay but I still like the job, as it bring me happiness. The bad thing here is that whatever money I got this job, my family store it and don’t let me use it. I have never seen my salary and I believe I never will.
Even for everything i buy, he scold me as to from where the money will come for your purchase.
I’m really sick and tired now, I don’t know what to do and all i think about hurting myself and killing myself.
I don’t wanted to share it but there is no outlet for my pain.
They say to share my feelings but How can I if you yourself are the one bringing pain to me.
I did got a job somewhere else but my father scolded me to not join there, and say to get a job which gives money.
How I can do that, It is not hard to say that it i’ll dir because of these reason but nobody can do anything. I cannot take it anymore and all i can think is about suicide.
😔😔😔
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You must find a way to borrow money so that you can leave home to be away from your parents. Don't let them know where you are and keep your pay to yourself. If they come to your work place and ask where you now live don't tell them. You might have to stand up to them, but it could be the only way.
ReplyBlood doesn't necessarily mean family, especially if they're causing you this much pain. If you don't want to join their business please don't give in, you've got to docwhay makes you happy,
Have you got a friend or someone your close with that you can stay with, start to save up?
ReplyHey there, I read this and I can totally relate to a lot you said. But you know what? Things pass and so will this. trust me there is a way out and now it feels distant but it really isn't. Although I don't know you- Honey I know this pain. I know it. But trust me you will get through with this.
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