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So a lot of people have coping mechanisms for trauma and/or depression. Mine is maladaptive daydreaming. Whenever I talk about it with my friends they’re just like “oh yeah I daydream a lot too lol” but no. I don’t just daydream “a lot” I daydream at least 95% of every day. It’s frustrating not even being mentally here at all. I can’t sleep at night because my mind is busy creating its own reality. I’ve managed to convince myself reality doesn’t exist. There’s nothing I can do. It makes me not want to get better. I feel like I have no personality outside of my mind. My whole identity is fictional, but to be honest, I’m fine with that. If I get better I have to become an entirely new person. I am nobody without my daydreams. I feel like I’m a way they have saved my life. I would have killed my self long ago if I couldn’t just retreat back into my head. I disassociated throughout most of my life and actually am nobody. It’s scary. I have no sense of identity and my whole persona exists for me and me only. I sometimes hope that I won’t wake up in the morning. That I’ll die and somehow be able to daydream forever without interruption. I know it’s not healthy. But, as I said, I am literally nobody. I have no identity or personality whatsoever in the “real world”.
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I do ....however I only share with a select few. Some like to gossip and make people feel small. Get into others business and make judgements even when they themselves have been in the same spot or worse.
Get people fired on purpose instead of just minding their own business. I am glad I am not like that.
ReplyI'll toke a bowl to that .. ☕
ReplyWhen I read this it felt like I wrote this. I can relate on every point you made. I never told anyone about it because I am afraid they won't understand. I am scared it is taking over my life as all I want to do is daydream. It is the only reason why I love going to sleep. I spend hours just daydreaming. It's my happy place. Feel free to reply here if you ever need to talk about it :)
ReplyAlso wanted to say that reading this made me feel better knowing that I am not alone so thank you for sharing
ReplyI relate too. I daydream I can’t control. I’m empath and feel others this brings me back.
I try to ground.
Try.
We do exist and do creative things .
We can
ReplyWe are the same. I always do that. I create my own world, a world that I know I deserve. It makes me happy when I'm in my own world.
Reply