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AFRAID, yet fearless
1 month ago · · Anxiety
I'm not too coward to commit a crime of end(suicide).
But I'm not enough brave to commit to life.
Sometimes, I start talking to myself;
and I say to myself that happiness awaits you.
but is it okay for me to be patient while people;
around are me screaming in joy;
or am i the only one to be awaited by happiness;
I deserve to at least know what is the cost of happiness;
So, I can pay the price and just stop putting this pretentious smile and
be in debt for happiness for rest of my life ;
this pretentious smile reminds me that every time i laughed i laughed alone;
the reason i am alone is not only that i chose not to be like them ;
but also because one is alone because they fail to be like the rest.
This few moments of talking to myself makes me fearless but ;
MY REAL FEAR IS THAT I AM TALKING TO MYSELF.