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Freedom
3 years ago · 0 · Explicit
56
I have been the caged bird my whole life. The little spirit that was crushed so soon. They clipped my wings the first chance they got. I am ready to regrow them. I’m ready to leave my cage and fly free. I am ready to be me, but where do I start? There is so much of myself that I didn’t realize I didn’t chose. Why do I feel the way I feel? Is it because I want to feel this way, or do I think I should feel this way? How can you tell?
I want to change. I want to say “Ok! I have had enough!” Which I have! But I have no clue where to start. I know that this isn’t my truest form. I have let other people rule me for as long as I’ve known. I did everything I could to make them comfortable, and to allow others to exist without my existence burdening them. Maybe it’s my turn to make them uncomfortable. Maybe it’s my time to stop trying to be the person everyone else wants me to be. Who am I really? I don’t really know. I have always felt so lost, but maybe it was because I never thought I could really be my full self. The limit was always present so I knew my true self didn’t fit inside so I was confused. The little box I was meant to fit in I couldn’t squish myself into. It’s hard to find myself, but now I know that I can. Where do you even start when your whole life you have never even thought about being yourself? Loving your WHOLE self? For EVERYTHING you are. Every scar, all the hurt, the shame, the pain. There is a girl in there who had a strong will, and a fire in her heart. She was head strong and cared so much. She wanted to fix the world with all she had. She felt no shame for who she was. She knew that no matter what anyone thought she was strong. Who gave a fuck about them? I’m me, and I don’t need their opinions! It’s so hard to find her. I can feel her little heart inside mine. I can feel her strength within me. That’s who got me through the hurt and now she can help me heal.
No matter what I have been through, no matter how many “flaws” they may think I have, I am whole. I am everything I have ever needed to be. I am everything I will ever need to be. No excuses, no need to change. I am me. No one else. They don’t get to change that about me. I have to find that little girl again. God I sound like Glennon lmao. It’s the truth. We start out with that fire, we all do. Before they crush our spirits and tear us down. I could blame my father. I could blame my pain. I could blame the world. I have to forgive. Without forgiveness I can never move on. I can never let myself heal to be my whole self.
Who is inside me? What does SHE really want? What are her hopes? What does she love? Where does she want to go? Why do I feel so tied down, when I was meant to fly? Freedom is within me. It is all I’ve ever wanted. To fly free.
What do I expect from my life? Is it because that is what other people told me I wanted? I don’t think so I am pretty unconventional when it comes to this front.
Why do I dress, look, and think the way I do? Is it so I can be like everyone else. I don’t know who I am or how I want to look but I will find it. I want to be free to feel and think freely. Be me unconditionally. Feel my pain, feel my joy, and be proud of it all.
Do I look to others for my opinions? Do I follow others without thinking about what I feel and what I think? Do I do as I’m told without thinking about what I want? Do I follow instead of leading?
It is time to slow down. To feel. To see. To notice. How I feel. What I want. I want to imagine. I want to see what I want and go for it.
It is time to regain my confidence. I am right. I know what I want. I don’t need other people to tell me how to feel, or what to do. I know. This is my life and it is my time to make the choices. I know who I am in my core. She is in there, so I need to trust in her and she will tell me what to do.
Comparison must stop. I am me. That is all I need to be. No one else. They are them, and I am exactly who I am supposed to be. Right now. Even the worst moments, I am me. That is perfect.
I’m just a monkey in clothes.
Life is not linear. People evolve, they spin around and change. It’s ok to change. You don’t have to do anything, you choose it all.
Follow my passions. No matter what. Don’t let other people and the way I am “supposed” to be get in the way. This is my life and no one else defines me or what II have to do. I can do anything.
Chose adventure over convenience. This may seem easier but is it right? Is this really what I want? Is this really where I want to be? How I want to feel, or I am trying to stay comfortable? Pick the adventure.
Don’t let goals get in the way of right now. Yes, one day I will get there, but right now is also important. Just pushing through isn’t being true to me. It isn’t being who I really am it is pretending to be someone else to get through the day.
You are always beautiful. You always have been and never won’t be. There is not a moment in your life where you will not be beautiful. Stop letting others tell you you aren’t, it just isn’t true. Your beauty is not defined on what other people think. You know how truly beautiful you are and no one can change that.
Live in this moment. Capture it in your mind. Live it. Don’t take a photo and forget it in your mind.
You are you, and that is forever changing. That is ok. You don’t have to be the person you were yesterday, and you don’t have to be the person you are today tomorrow. You are always on a quest to be your truest self so the self you are today may not be your truest self tomorrow. It is ok to change, even when you think you have found yourself. Even if you thought you were exactly where you wanted to be, and then you realize you’re not. That is ok.
What motivates you? That is where you find who you want to be. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? Why? This will lead you to your ultimate truth, to the person you are today.
This motivation comes from your values. Who you are at the root. Your motives come from being kind, they come from loving others, they come from wanting to see the change that would help everyone not just yourself, they come from not wanting greed. They come from your desire to spread love and change and stop hurt. You know the hurt that you want to lift from others.
Your value does not come from others. It is not based on what others think of you. It comes from within. You create your value your love and your worth. You know how worthy you are because you are the person you created.
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