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I wish you stopped
Knew your limit
but you carried on
knowing you were the only parent left
I love you
but that shit hurt
that messed with me
My heart beating too fast when theres loud sounds
I cant help it, it stuck with me
Seeing you on the floor, the blood from your head
you knew you werent supposed to drink
We were only 11
I love you
you made us lie
when we were the ones who suffered too
That shit came up on you,
You nearly died
I cant imagine a world without you
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I'm so sorry. I dont even know what to say. I'm here if you'd like to talk.
ReplyThank you yeah how do i move past this
ReplyTheres a lot of things you need to consider first. It seems you know what it is that bothers you and why. How does it affect your life now? How does it affect the people who know you? These are the questions you need to ask first. How does what happened still affect your life. Understanding your pain is every bit as important as knowing it
ReplyThis happened 4 years ago and I never really got over it because i just pretended it didn't happen and made myself forget. When ever my sister yells out my name, just like she did that night when he got hurt, my heart literally goes crazy and it beats so fast. Also sometimes i get panic attacks and usually i just wait for it to go away. When ever she yells my name to get dinner or to just get my attention, it just always leads me to that night. When ever i hear loud sounds i feel like something bad happened. Like once someone slammed my door so hard that my heart started going crazy again.
I never really told the people close to me because im scared opening up, i dont know people see me as the not emotional type, since its so hard talking about my feelings.
I appreciate this I really do
ReplyIt sounds like you have some sort of PTSD from the incident. I'm not an expert though, so you'd have to talk to a professional, which I highly recommend.
Let my start off by saying that sooner orblater you're going to have to accept that this is something that needs to be discussed. Hiding emotions because of how everyone perceives you wont make the problems go away. You need to understand that you are human and just like the people we look up to, you will get hurt more than you're able to handle. That isnt weakness, that is life. I'm glad you're here opening up, that tells me you aren't against the idea of opening up.
It's not something I think we ever really get over. It's more like it just gets easier to deal with. Trauma is permanent, like a deep cut that burns the nerves of our soul. It stays with us and defines us. It sounds so defeating to hear it phrased like that, but suffering works in tandem with living our lives fully. It's our greatest teacher. I'm sure you learned on that day that our heroes can fall. The thing is, you know what causes the trauma, but its important to understand why the trauma hurt. Understanding that trauma helps us use it to reinforce ourselves, make us stronger. The hurt you felt, you wouldn't allow it again if you could because you stand before us as an example of what it does to us. You can make the trauma fuel, you can make the scars symbols of survival.
It's fine, I love being able to help people. Its important to be here for eachother. So dont worry about it
ReplyThank you so much for this. It made me feel less alone. Opening up feels weird but this made is seem so much easier than i think it is. I will try to talk to a professional because i really don't want my past coming back to me. Trauma is a weird thing, I didnt even think about it in that way. This made me feel that i can get past this. thank you i really do appreciate it.
ReplyI'm very happy to hear that, dont hesitate to comment of you need anything. I float around here a lot as do many of us so if you're ever feeling alone. Know that we're here
ReplyThis is very hard. Seeing the ones we love go down that way. They were supposed to protect us, instead they gave us the scars. Hope you feel better. Try not to think of the past, may be that will help.
Reply