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No one tells you how hard it can be

1 year ago · 5 · infertility, +9


426

You watch chick flicks when your a kid and you always see how the fairy tale ending, guy meets girl, they get married and and bam shes pregnant with out ever trying. You see the joy and surprise on her husbands face with no worries in the world. No one ever prepares you for how hard it is to get that happy ending. It's been 2 years of trying to have a baby. I'm pushing every drug into the body and side effects are unbearable. No one tells you how hard and how emotionally and physically painful its going to be. Everytime I go back to my doctor there is another disappointing result. I have PCOS and a thyroid condition. I have had a period in over 6 years and the drugs to just try and get an ovulation are breaking me down. I keep being told it's a slow process but after 2 years I'm struggling to have hope. My body isn't my own. My mind isn't my own.

There isn't any support, I don't have anyone around me who gets it, all my friends are falling pregnant first go and I'm here not able to give my husband the one thing we want.

My body isn't doing the one thing its supposed to do. Every failed cycle i feel more and more like a failure and i don't know if I can keep doing this to myself. I want to stop and say if it happens it happens ill be fine, but I can't i want it so bad I'm pushing myself through the side effects. I feel like life is passing me by and I see everyone else get what they deserve but me. Did I do something to deserve this? I know I should have some positive point to make but today I'm struggling and I needed to be real about my feelings somewhere because I have to have a smile on my face the other 99% of the day. I need someone to talk to who isnt my husband and can get how my body and heart are feeling.

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  • Novni Guest · 1 year ago

    You didn't do anything wrong. There isn't anyone in the world who could ever be good enough to "deserve" a child.

    The friends you have, while I'm sure they will mean well, they won't understand. I didn't struggle to get pregnant, but I have friends who struggled. I never said the right things while they were going through that process, and they always were angry with me when I tried. I suggest talking with your doctor about it instead. You are not the first person in the world who has struggled through something like this. Ask him about support groups. I think you need someone who has gone or is going through your experience to support you.

    Reply
  • Novni Guest · 1 year ago

    Try tracking your period and find when you ovulate. If all else fails, try Intro-Fertilization. Hope things work out. Push comes to shove, Surrogates exist for a reason.

    Reply
  • Novni Guest · 1 year ago

    There are babies who are waiting to be adopted so instead of pushing yourself through this give a baby a loving and caring upbringing.

    Reply
  • Novni Guest · 1 year ago

    There are babies who are waiting to be adopted so instead of pushing yourself through this give a baby a loving and caring upbringing.

    Reply
  • Constellation · 1 year ago

    All of this stress is only making it harder for you to get pregnant. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. Why don’t you and your husband take a break from trying. It doesn’t have to be long- a couple of months perhaps or you can go on a second honeymoon. No drugs just be together not to have a baby but because you love each other. And then you can try again but why not consider adoption. There are so many kids out there with no home and they just want to be loved. Yes it’s not what everyone imagines but it doesn’t mean that child will be any less precious. Meanwhile you can continue trying but there will be less pressure.

    Reply

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