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No one tells you how hard it can be
1 year ago · · infertility,
You watch chick flicks when your a kid and you always see how the fairy tale ending, guy meets girl, they get married and and bam shes pregnant with out ever trying. You see the joy and surprise on her husbands face with no worries in the world. No one ever prepares you for how hard it is to get that happy ending. It's been 2 years of trying to have a baby. I'm pushing every drug into the body and side effects are unbearable. No one tells you how hard and how emotionally and physically painful its going to be. Everytime I go back to my doctor there is another disappointing result. I have PCOS and a thyroid condition. I have had a period in over 6 years and the drugs to just try and get an ovulation are breaking me down. I keep being told it's a slow process but after 2 years I'm struggling to have hope. My body isn't my own. My mind isn't my own.
There isn't any support, I don't have anyone around me who gets it, all my friends are falling pregnant first go and I'm here not able to give my husband the one thing we want.
My body isn't doing the one thing its supposed to do. Every failed cycle i feel more and more like a failure and i don't know if I can keep doing this to myself. I want to stop and say if it happens it happens ill be fine, but I can't i want it so bad I'm pushing myself through the side effects. I feel like life is passing me by and I see everyone else get what they deserve but me. Did I do something to deserve this? I know I should have some positive point to make but today I'm struggling and I needed to be real about my feelings somewhere because I have to have a smile on my face the other 99% of the day. I need someone to talk to who isnt my husband and can get how my body and heart are feeling.