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God- I know everyone knows the feeling of just staring at your phone until you get a message from them. I know the feeling of when you see their face and your stomach goes in little loops. I know the feeling of realizing the mistake you made and wanting to get back together.
It wasn’t my fault, Em. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not to blame. I took away your trust because I was scared. I was scared of my parents, I was scared of the guy who was creeping on me, I was scared of how our lives would work together in the future. I just got scared. And I know I scared you too.
I noticed how you began to wear longer shirts, more layers, even in the summertime. Every second it was hard not to grab you in my arms and smother you in loving kisses.
I watched you transform into the person you want to be. Em, you mean the world to me.
I know I messed up. I don’t want forgiveness because I know you’ve already forgiven me. I just want you to forget-
But how can you ask someone who’s in so much pain to just forget what harm you did to them.
You’re such a trooper. I watched you easily stand up from our breakup and take strides. I watched you blossom into a man, I watched you move on from horrible situations. I’ve watched you be the strongest person I know.
And I watched you.
And watched you.
And watched you.
And every night I lay down to sleep, knowing how much I miss you. I wish I had eternity to hug you. I wish I had time to hear you whisper those sweet little nicknames. I wish I could hold your hand and listen to you sing again.
I wish I could tell you how much I adore you.
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