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Yesterday a friend stopped by, whom I had known since we were in diapers, and was looking for the reason why I had stopped speaking to her 4 years ago.
I had told her it was because of anxiety and then the fear that she would hate me. That wasn't the truth though.
I had been afraid of her. Always had been. She is cold, calculating and gets physical and violent with her own family. I thought it was just because of how that family worked and tried to look past it, but there was still fear. I remember spending a whole day trying to run away from her because I thought if I didn't talk to her that whole day she would leave me alone. I was wrong.
What made me finally start leaving was seeing how she treated her grandfather. She insulted him to the point that I was nearly in tears just listening and she would say how much she hated him when he wasn't around. It made me see that she was so hurtful inside that I decided I had to leave then. I ghosted her. It worked.
Then yesterday she comes strolling in and starts going after me about me leaving her. She also threw in an hour of small talk that included how she still fights with her parents, insults her brother, and even shoves him and sicks their dog on him! It all made me very wary again.
She also told me how she was cutting out all her friends because she didn't like how they were using her. She only mentioned getting 1 other friend back other than me. That made the warning bells go off.
I know she wants to stay friends, and that's fine. Ill just keep her at arm's length, but is that really the best option? Is there anything I can do?
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I think you both should talk it out, if you were really good friends and if still are then there might be a chance that you could communicate with her. Tell her that the behaviour she has towards her elders is something which is immature. Blessings of elders and respecting them provides peace in life. And if possible then you should tell her the main reason why you stopped talking to her 4 years ago, tell her the truth and be clear that you don't like this sort of behaviour. Be calm while explaining all these things to her she might not take it easy on you in the beginning but stand your ground. I hope this helps. Good luck to you. Cheers mate.
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