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Hey, can I talk to you? Like, talk talk?
I dont know I just, more of I really just need to talk about this with somebody because I cant keep doing this to myself anymore. Ive always been scared about *really* talking about it with someone in fear of,, i dont really know? Unnecessary worry or being attention seeking or you know, the normal stuff.
I usually just write to myself because of this and I always end up writing shit that makes me feel worse.
Ive never been comfortable talking about this because its a problem thats entirely in my control. Like, my problems with my dad were never in my control and it was easy to talk about it because it wasnt my fault and I was just letting out my frustrations but like ugh shit like this?
Im gonna stop avoiding it,, so like, i fuckin hate my body man. Like so fucking much, every time I look in the mirror or just look down at my stomach or weigh myself it always just makes me upset. If I get on the scale and if its anything above 120 then ill beat myself up over it. its horrible.
Ive often have thought and tried to puke up meals or eat less when I get into head spaces like this but, I never can commit to it. I know its a horrible and I really dont want to do it but I always end up doing it anyways.
Thankfully I never really get a chance to puke up my meals since my mom is always home but I hate that I always get into thoughts where I wish she wasnt there so I could.
I do not do this often, like at all. I usually just kinda feel crappy at looking at my weight and move on with my day thinking "yeah that sucks but oh well" but sometimes, i dont and do what i said before. I know its a problem and I dont want to do it. i try to do positive things like going on more walks, eating less shit and whatever but when i just eat normal things its gross and aughhh,, my relationship with food is just bad. i can never look at myself and think anything positive about my body.
I dont really know why im telling you this but,, i just need to tell someone. I think itll just make me feel better or something idk,, ,fhjgfd thanks for listening though
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Hey there... want to have a talk talk?
Friend, i dont know if this will help or not. Any ways i want to tell you to search for some fun exercises.. like losing your weight while dancing. You can find a lot of apps for this. And also there are a lot of videos on youtube too. Just go through those, sometimes u may be able to lose your weight without losing your relationship with food.
Dont feel bad about yourself, u are unique the way you are. I just said all those stuffs to improve your body so that you feel more confident.
Feel free to talk, you have this crazy_someone to listen.
Take care friend.
ReplyI am glad you told me this. I am sorry you are going through this. Eat three healthy non fattening meals a day and only non fattening snacks. No cakes, sweets, or sugary drinks. Make sure you exercise every day.
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