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Vicious cycle of misinterpretation and misunderstanding between a child and her parents
3 years ago · 1 · Rebellious, +7 · Explicit
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I don’t know what came over me. When my mother was being affectionate, I asked what happened? Why was she showing her affection? Because I thought maybe she wanted me to study. She usually is affectionate while I am studying, when she wants me to study or when I am asleep. At other times, she is her normal self. My father came overheard our conclusion and gave a remark,” She wants money that is why she showed affection?”(later he told me it was intended to be a sarcastic remark).I heard half, interpreted a different meaning of his statement, concluded that maybe he thinks I want his money or after his money. (Many a time he indirectly said he would kick me out of the house if I intend to depend on him). I was angry. I started saying things such as I had never complained, not even once in my life about food, cloth or any other materialistic stuff. Being the only child, my parents gave me a lot of comforts, but whenever they couldn't afford something I didn't complain, neither did I demand anything. Because I was aware of my parent's financial condition, like impending loans, their account balance. I even reprimanded them if they spent money unnecessarily. Then why the hell do they think I am after their money. I don't want their money or property. My father would often tell me he had to wear torn clothes or compromise with usage of belongings in order to provide for us. Ok I understand it is a great sacrifice on his part but it is not needed. Even if he decided to spend his own money on himself and not on us, we don't have the right to say anything because it is his money and he has absolute right on it. Whenever me and my mom tried to buy expensive clothes for him, he flatly refused. This is not justifiable. Why the hell does he compromise every time only to think in later stage that all his family wants from him is his money? Ok well, coming to part where I said things. I said whenever I am studying or they want me to study they are affectionate, at other times they are not. They think I am satisfied with the materialistic things. When I calmed down, my father said to deconstruct the whole thing and then I realised he meant it as a sarcastic remark. Even then I did not admit my mistake and remarked that he has prejudiced ideas about me and does not love me.
Well, I am aware of the fact that the only people who care when something happens to me are my parents, who have made me me.They are the only ones who I have.
Yet whenever I interact with them or am around them, the same prejudiced ideas come to play and in times of conflict I say hurtful things to them out of anger, only to regret later. This makes me feel like shit, I feel like an ultimate loser who has lost the trust of people who love me.
I don't know what to do. This vicious cycle of misunderstanding isn't going from my life. It just keeps coming back whenever I am angry or am being forced to do something which I don't like/.
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