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Life is for the living, so why do I feel like I’m just surviving.
This imperfect world, perfectly destroys my happiness and my chance at laughter.
It feels like the cycle of waking up, being awake and falling back into my slumber -is JUST TOO MUCH.
Life is for the living… but is this really living? Doctors appointments, tests, surgeries, death -its inevitable right. With death, comes peace. With death comes life? Maybe, then, life is not for the living but rather death - maybe the only way for me to be at peace is to succumb to the rolling lull of the night and just be. Just be. Just be free I guess. But with freedom, comes responsibility. With this freedom, comes justification - comes the realisation of my human genome - selfishness. No. No, this is not for me. I am made for more. Beauty from the ashes and all, but why. Why me. Why her. Why him. Why anyone. Because of Him.
So, I just ask again; “if life is for the living - why, oh why, am I just surviving”.
I feel like I’m just screaming into the empty, with my sound of silence echoing through the waiting room of life. Waiting for my eternity with you - waiting for eternal peace - with singing and rejoicing. With no pain. With no pain? Frankly, it’s unimaginable because pain is all I feel. Every single stupid day on this Earth. Pain. It never ends. Well at least it feels like it never ends, but as we know - there is one way for all the pain to stop…
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