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Today, right now,
I should be sleeping
I should be resting
I shouldn't be here
I shouldn't be anywhere
I don't believe anymore
I don't want to anymore
I am tired of pretending I'm okay
I am tired of pretending I'm happy
I don't know why I'm so sad all of a sudden
Maybe I'm just lonely again.
Maybe it doesn't matter.
Peace, love, potatoes
❤️❤️❤️
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I'll be writing more supportive things when I get myself together. Don't worry.
Peace, love, potatoes
❤️❤️❤️
ReplyPlease help yourself by staying away from your phone, lap top, and video games for a few weeks and see how happy and free you will feel. Being a slave to these things with screens bogs you down. Have a rest from them and live life in a simpler way.
ReplyI wish I could, but you see, I hafta go to school...
ReplyHi there...I Hear you! Please, please remember that this will pass. (Don't hate me for saying that?) But it will...If You Let It. It might feel like a long slow melt down, but it will pass...if you let it. You don't have to camp out in all those emotions! Why set up a tent in that valley? Ok, you find yourself in the world in a body and mind you are uncomfortable with right now, and that's good! Venting is good... And I hear you. So, ok, You are not in a world of perfection. Your idea of perfection is not happening in this world. We are each suffering in a flawed world. I am part of the flaw. I should not be trying to be anything. I ought not be trying to change anything. My job is to ADAPT> Adapt and Overcome. This is a fallen world. It was here when I came, and it will be here when I have gone. NO ONE will easily step up to make you (me) feel Comfortable in this world. They are uncomfortable as well in this world. How can one flawed person help another flawed person... I say find another suffering person and help them. The object is not to make yourself acceptable to the world...the object is to navigate thru a fallen world with a fallen body. My daughter has Down Syndrome, and for 26 years she has been treated unfairly by many people. She feels it and it has been hard for her. But together we have conquered the challenges by remembering that every single person we have met has self hatred to deal with. They act like they do because they lack self esteem. And what is self esteem if not the bravery to excel in spite of our flaws...in spite of our challenges... You are hurting deeply right now and I wish I could be encouraging. Sometimes when I am suffering, I remember that there is a time to suffer, that there is a purpose for suffering, and it helps me to rest. And there is a time to completely surrender and begin resting. What would it look like and feel like if you could just take the time to completely relax, give up, surrender, relax, perhaps let God take over? What would it be like if you completely succumbed to the pain, perhaps just saying "ok, I am done" and I will now give in to complete rest. I will dismiss all thoughts that make me feel uncomfortable and I will embrace all thoughts that make me feel good. When the misery comes traipsing across my mind, I will willingly and simply dismiss it. And when good thoughts and feelings come dancing thru my head, I will invite them to stay. NOTHING says that you have to camp out in the valley with your worst thoughts!! No! it is not set in stone that you must entertain ugly thoughts. Swipe them away with a wave of the hand....and remember that you are not second in command of your thoughts!! You are Sovereign, no matter how dismal that looks. Challenge yourself, conquer yourself, REFUSE to die unhappy! And if that doesn't work, then find rest in suffering exquisitely...sitting quietly in the pain...and just know that some finer work is being done in you. A finer work. God does His finest work in the weakest of us. Reach out if you want and I will talk with you again...I love you because you suffer. I have suffered all my life...I find kindred spirits among the lonely. Please let yourself feel free and sovereign. You are bigger than any trouble...