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Why do people cheat? A Rant (because I keep thinking about it)
3 years ago · 3 · Cheating, +7 · Explicit
434
So this rant is just because I can’t get my mind off this topic at he moment so I need to write it out.
I honestly do not get the thoughts of people who cheat.
It has always been hard for me to get into a relationship. There is an endless cycle. I start talking to someone, feelings are involved, and I start backing out because of my freaking fear. I don’t really think it is the fear of being cheated on itself, it is the fact that I will be giving my heart over to someone who can crush it without a second thought. The thought that I would not be enough for someone. The thought of putting my everything into someone and not getting the same back, or getting the same back until later in life they realize they don’t want to do it anymore scares me to death.
I have always been the type of person who, when thinking about my future and romance together, always thinks of having just one person in their love life. I don’t mean meet one person and, “Done. This is the person forever.” I mean finding someone you click with and wanting to be by that persons side, leaning together, growing together, loving together. Staying loyal, faithful, honest, and talking things out and working together when things get rough. I remember telling someone that is what I wanted in a relationship and he said maybe my standards are too high. High? How are they high. Respect, loyalty, communication, and faithfulness is considered too high? How?! Oh and possibly waiting for sex. I have never been the type of person wanting to get into a relationship just to be in a relationship.
I hate when people all about cheating like it is okay. I know guys who say, “Girls cheat all the time so why can’t guys?” Females say the same exact thing. Just because you got cheated on by someone doesn’t mean it is okay to cheat on the next person you date. I also hate it when people tell people it is okay to sleep with someone’s boyfriend/girlfriend since they are not married. Just because they are not married does not make I okay. And people who sleep with the person in a relationship and KNOWS they are in a relationship... I just don’t understand why do you do that? Do you not believe you deserve better or..? I am so confused. Please explain this because I do not understand. Maybe that person tells you something like, “Oh I don’t love my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband. I love you.” Okay well why are they still with that person and not with you? I just don’t understand. Is it because it has never happened to me before or...? Is that why I do not understand?
I remember this one time one of my friends cheated on her boyfriend for three months straight before she told me and another friend of ours. Our other friend listened right along with me when she told us how it all started. I was so pissed off when our other friend told our cheating friend, “It’s okay. People are mistakes. Don’t feel guilty. Didn’t you say you don’t even love your boyfriend?” I looked my friend who was cheating on her boyfriend dead in the eye ad said, “Hell no it is not okay. Okay people make mistakes, but not continuously for three months straight, and most definitely not the same mistake over and over again. If you don’t love your boyfriend and want to be with his guy then beak up with your boyfriend.” I was ticked. She did not love/like her boyfriend, so why didn’t she breakup with him? It made no sense to me.
If you accidentally cheat, then be honest about it. Why not own up to it. Take responsibility for it. I mean personally, I would rather know. I don’t like cheaters at all. I don’t even like to watch tv shows/movies, or read books whee the main character is creation on his/her wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend. Once you break trust like that, it is so hard to get it back. You would always be thinking, “Are they cheating right now?” That is me personally. I also know if I found out on my own without the person I put my trust in telling me then it would hurt more than it would if they told me after it happened. It would be easier to solve that way in my opinion. But that is just me.
These are my thoughts at the moment. Um if you ever cheated on someone, or have been cheated on, what where your thoughts before, during, and after the cheating happened? I really don’t understand it so can someone who has been through it, or have done it, explain it to me. (I mean if you want...)
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ReplyValid point, but I don't know if the first reaction should be to justify cheating...
ReplyThey cheat, bc they can. No any justification of their actions. The more you put classifications on things good or black, yes or no. The easier life gets.
"I'm sorry I cheated on you, I just don't understand myself. I feel lost. But I realized I love you"
Pure gaslighting.
"i'm sorry, I cheated on you. I felt like this is not enough, blah blah. You're always busy blah blah. But I love you"
Pure Gaslighting.
A man with a decent thinking wouldn't cheat for the sake of searching soul and filling gaps. Ok.
The more we make excuses on bad habits the more it is normalize.
We forgive, and it will be an endless cycle of reconcilation and desperation.
Tend the wound while it's not yet deep.
Reply