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I'm so lost. I've invested so much in my faith which I've been a strong follower of since childhood. But life has been so hard lately and God doesn't answer any of my prayers anymore. I'm having serious doubts, but if its all a lie, if it's not true I've wasted my life so far. I just want Him to prove himself, that He's real, and that he cares for me, but I'm getting nothing. This makes me want to turn away, to leave it all behind, but my family and my closest friends wouldn't understand if I'd do that. They'd be so disappointed. Turning away from my faith would mean losing them, and throwing away everything I've worked towards in my life. If have nothing, no family, no close friends, no career. Just that thought makes me want to die, it feels like the only way out. But I can't put my family, friends, roommates through the trauma of finding my corpse or knowing I killed myself. Once, I almost got myself into a deadly accident while hiking. I wish I'd died then, oh how I wanted to die then, but I made it out alive. I also made the mistake of confiding in a friend about that, so now if I died in an "accident" people would still suspect that I did it on purpose. I wish I hadn't. That would be best, I could finally be done living and the people I care about could mourn the accident and move on and not have to live with the trauma of me killing myself intentionally, they'd just think it was an accident.
I have no desire to keep going on if everything I've ever believed has been a lie. I've invested too much into it now to walk away.
If God is real, he is cruel. He sees how I suffer and he does nothing.
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OP here, when I said life's been hard lately I mean I've been depressed and struggling for 3 years now.
ReplyGod isn't a life saving/changing option or a person in real life... the whole idea of having religion was to make believe in something/someone who is not directly present..
He is the hope you have for going on even when times are difficult... believing that after all this tough time, he will reward us with good time that all this suffering isn't futile, someone is watching over you and your actions and is silently there for you..
ReplyI too once in your place, I lost my faith to the point of faking it for the sake of not disappointing my family. But, recently I realized that God never left him, but I was the one that ran away. I though God was hindering me to be successful but he was protecting me, instead.
One day, you're question will be answered and realized why things happened.
One day, the time will come wherein the purpose of you making out alive on the accident.
Life will be difficult, but I hope you keep on hanging until the time when everything make sense.
God isn't cruel, he sees your suffer and he's working on it. Even at movies, everything is unpredictable but that doesn't mean the writer isn't working behind those cameras.
I love you <3
ReplyGod looks after me and talks to me. If He used to answer your prayers you know that He is real and you haven't wasted your life at all. If you treat Him as Mr. Fixit and expect Him to come to your aid over every thing He won't help you. He isn't here to be used. I have found that as long as I made the effort in the first place to build up a relationship with Him He helped me when He thought He needed to. Not when I thought He should. So keep reading your Bible and build up a close relationship with God for the purpose of getting to know Him (not to get His help). Because He knows when you need His help He will help you then. However, don't expect Him to always help. One of the reasons for your life is to learn through experiences so there are times when He won't help no matter how many times you ask and this is because He wants you to learn from your experiences.
ReplyGod can take even a year to answer your prayers. As long as you have faith. Your losing faith, plz don't.
ReplyI, too, struggle with my faith. I'm not a perfect Christian nor a perfect human, I've never really went to church, and I don't pray to him on the daily. In fact, at times I ignore him, pursuing my temptations rather than him. But despite all this, even with my doubts, I know that God's love for me surpasses real. All the suffering I went through, he suffers through more. Truly, do you truly love God? I want you to think about it. It's not about his absence throughout your life, but your absence in his. The thing is, us people, only believe in what we touch, see, and know. God's love for us comes easy, but loving God is one of the hardest things to do. I want you to rethink about your relationship with God, because he is our father, not a religion. Maybe your losing faith in him, because your faith in him was never real to begin with. I remember when I was younger, I only prayed to him because that was what I was taught to do. He was nothing more to me than just God. I remember the times in which I would confide in him, crying alone in my bed at night, sulking in my own self pity. He never did speak back, he never did verbally talk back. That's because it isn't about him answering our prayers, it never was, but at that moment I felt peace. A peace that can only be felt in his presence. Even when I'm typing this I've got butterflies in my stomach, not from nervousness, but an overwhelming happiness. The thing is, my relationship with him grew, I've stopped seeing him as a figure, but now as a person. I hope you can open up your eyes and heart to him, because he is there even if he is not felt or seen.
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