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So, I have a brother and I'm really scared of him. I'm 16 and he's my twin so he's 16 too. I guess he has anger issues because, whenever we disagree on something he starts yelling at me, kicking me(sometimes it's not that hard but it still hurts). He had this yelling and fighting back(physically) from when we was like 10 i think? And every day i came to be afraid of him more and more. I do love him, he is my twin and we are really similar but i can't help being afraid of him. The moment i realized i became scared of him was when he threw a chair at me. Than there was a moment he was literally fighting with moms boyfriend and he told him he will kill him. I was so scared but unlike my mom who was just watching i did something and tore them apart. He became more violent with i think everybody. Just now we were arguing about a something i said(wich i didn't) and he started to yell at me and first like 10minutes i was okay.. but he started yelling angain and i was so sick of it and i started to cry. He looked at me and seeing it wasn't as he wanted he kicked to my door he broke them he literally broke them and now i can't close the door. I don't know if I'll ever stop being afraid of him. What should i do? Or is there a way he'd stop having anger issues? What can i do for him? Every time he does something with his hand i twitch at the movement.
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OH, he doesn't have the right to do that to you. Have you talked to your parents about it? Try to talk to someone who is very close to your brother and let that person tell your brother to calm down, control his anger and treat you very well.
ReplyI talked to my mom and grandma, but they "don't have the power" to calm him down. I don't really want to tell his friends about his anger issues. I don't think i have the right to do that. Im just unsure about the whole situation. Can i (i mean my mom but like i would arrange it somehow)go with him to psychologist without him thinking there is something wrong with him?
ReplyYes, dear. You are his sister, I think you are the only one who can save him. Take him to a therapist and see what happens.
ReplyI had a sibling who had a lot of pent up anger. The best thing for him was to send him to my uncle, who had a lot of authority, especially for a young teen. He was still rebellious, but over time he calmed down more over the years. There's no straight up solution. It really all depends on him. You can throw money at psychologists but in the end you won't be able to force him to go visit.
And I agree. You dont be the one to tell his friends. They'll have to discover it on rhier own. There's the person you know. And the person they know
Sorry that I cant help a lot. And that youre scared. Its really tough watching everything. But he definitely needs an authority figure to put him in his place
ReplyThank you, the thing is we don't have any authority figure. Our biological dad is not a good example and mom's boyfriend can't scold him because it feels wrong(we really like him but probably never will accept him like our dad)
ReplyAlso sorry i forgot to say we don't know our uncle ,our grandpa is dead and we just don't have that possibility
ReplySorry to hear that.
We had no dad, which probably contributed to my siblings lack of authority.
Sometimes it doesn't have to be a relative. I have seen through the years, that young teens are impressionable by those who are older than them, or look up to as a father figure, but is firm with putting the teen in their place. In some instances, the lessons was not the best, but it certainly made the teens less compulsive in striking at anything and anyone.
These are only experiences I have come across however, these should only be taken as references. Not all methods can work on different people.
The best thing to do, is to show little to no reaction when he's having an outburst. Your reaction may or may not encourage him. I know its hard. But when you realise that he is being silly and it becomes a cycle, it becomes less and less burdening to you. And you can confront him better to help him. Being firm is the best thing you can do with someone who has a lack of authority. But be very catious still. I do not know him. But look for his hidden triggers. When you do, its easier to read him.
I do hope, that you and your concerned family can find peace, as well as your twin.
ReplyThank you very much❤
Reply