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You got so angry again last night. Despite what you think, EVERYTHING is not my fault. I have not caused every bad thing in our lives. My having thoughts or beliefs that are separate and independent of yours is not ruining out family. It kills me that you say that I am repugnant to you just because I try to understand what others are feeling. This thing that you have where you believe that if I am not 100% with you that I am 100% against you is ruining both of us. It is not healthy to think that way. Telling you that you need to think about the impact your actions will have on our child before you take any actions is not telling you that you cannot do something - I know better than to tell you that you cannot do something. You make it abundantly clear that YOU are the head of the family and that what YOU say goes. I hate this and I am beginning to hate you as a result. Our child begs me to find aw ay to make you nice again, while also making me promise that I will not tell you how much you hurt her because she knows that you cannot take criticism of any kind. This is not healthy. Please agree that we can see a counsellor...I hope that it would help us, though I also think that you will discount anything that a counsellor says that you have to change. I guess that it does not matter because you have already told me that we will not see a counsellor and that I am not allowed to talk to anyone other than you about us. Yet, I cannot talk to you. I used to try, but after being shot down so many times and being told that everything is my fault (and that I am the only reason that you get mad or upset), I have given up...which also angers you.
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