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I Feel So Bad About My Body
1 year ago · · Need Advice ASAP,
Hi! I'm a 12 year old girl. I was born a girl, and I feel like one too! The problem is, I want to be pretty. Not attractive, not beautiful, but pretty enough. I'm going back to school in 3 weeks because unless any cases rise, my schoolboard decided it would be safe.
I'll list all of the things that bother me from most to least:
-My face. I have slightly big uneven eyebrows and lips, which I can do nothing about. I have a crossbite and overbite which I will need braces for. I have a big nose, a slight unibrow and noticeable peach fuzz on my lip. There's a bit of hair on my nose and forehead.
-My spine. The only thing I can do about this is try to sit straight. The problem is, I'm pretty sure I have lordosis but I'm too scared to talk to my therapist (through call) about it. Basically, my back is bent inwards on the bottom and outwards on the top. It makes me look fat (even if I stand up straight I still look fat) and it makes me look like I have an Adam's apple and double chin. I can't make my neck stand straighter.
-My arms. My arms are too skinny in comparision to my legs.
-My legs and chest. My chest is near flat, my butt is too big and my legs are like 4x thicker than my arms. When I run I barely use my arms (I need to start doing that) and I use to do the elliptical a lot and it never helped my arms. Also, the hair on them grows back realitively quickly.
-My diet. I recently went through a growth spurt and ate a lot, but I'm really full now but I'm afraid people will think there's something wrong with me.
Some of these I can do nothing about and others won't show through my mask, but who knows how long that rule will be in effect?
I think I know what I'll do, but if these sound bad, please tell me in the comments.
-I will shave everytime I notice a larger chunk of hair growing on my legs. I will also shave my arms but make sure nobody sees me because everybody tells me not to, even if there's no harm? I think I'll put lotion on afterwards too.
-I will tweeze the hair on my face. I've looked up how to tweeze. I'll do it when nobody's around.
-I will pratice sitting up straight.
-I will excercise with my arms starting today, every morning. Doing arm circles for one minute, then resting until the soreness goes away a bit, do 15 wall push ups, wait 5 secs, repeat 4 more times.
-I will eat fruits and vegetables with every meal, try not to take seconds on carb or fatty foods and eat slowly.
-I will take the dogs out on walks atleast once a day and use my arms when I run.
There's also other things. I'm afraid that if my friends don't see me as the skinny, short friend they'll turn me away as someone who's changed negatively. Although, I have enough friends who are loyal and would support me so I'm fine.
And I want to wear makeup, but nobody thinks of me as girly. I think to get them used to the idea, I'll wear more feminine outfits (leggings, sweaters, shirts that match the legwear) this year, "let in" to my sister begging me to do make up on her next year and slowly start wearing it more after that.
Is this fine to do? Is it normal to feel like this and plan ot things I can do to feel better? Is it normal to be a girl and start changing to be more girly when they get older?