What are you looking for?
I am Selfish
1 year ago · · Stress,
Many people said that I am selfish and I always put myself first.
Even my mother told me that I always care about myself and not others.
I can't tell this to my mother because I know she will scold me for being impolite and not respecting her.
But I want to defend myself here.
"Mom, am I that selfish for you? Why? What did I do to be accused of this sin?
You keep saying that you abandoned your future and your dreams to work non-stop and support us until we grow up. But did we ask for that? In the first place you were not there when we grow up. And thanks for the sacrifice you did we got everything although we never want it in the first place. Good education? A house and material things? Nope, we grow up having those things but did you ask us if we are happy? Did you ask us what we want? NO! We have education but we grow up learning that not having a father and hating him is correct, we grow up in a house but we have our family broken, we received a lot of things from you but we lack maternal love and care. Are we happy? Am I happy seeing other children grow up with a father and mother by their side? No, I am jealous. I grow up to be a jealous child who yearns love from a mother. I am a happy person outside but inside of me I am questioning myself if I am happy.
You said I am selfish that I always care about myself. Yes Of course I am, I need to care about myself because all I have is myself. I am not selfish, I just care about me first before you and other people. I cared too much before that I was ignored and now that I learned to love myself then you called me selfish? I earn what I have today because I work hard, is it not bad to have something to reward myself? Do I need to repay you for all the things you have given me? Of course I need to do that because you are my mother, but please keep in mind that I am doing it little by little and not just in full payment. Do you expect me to give everything I have? That's too much selfishness.
And I am not selfish, I don's even have a lover. So I care and love myself.